But even within the paragraph, you want to make the progression as coherent as you can (usually). One aspect I notice (and edit) is time progression. There are three basic times, of course: Past, Present, Future. Unless I have a good reason to do otherwise, I think it's more logical to group the past together, and then progress forward in time (or the reverse). Mixing them up (like past-present-past) in the same paragraph might feel incoherent. (As always, your intent trumps. If you have a reason to mix it up, go for it-- this is if there's no prevailing logic otherwise.)
Let's see how that works. Here's a past-present-past paragraph:
When Danielle had gone to high school here, Pemberton was a factory town, with smokestacks smutting the horizon. Now as she parked the car, the sun set dramatically in the clear air. The factory had closed three years earlier. Danielle's father had worked there as a tool-and-die maker, until his lungs grew too congested and he moved to Arizona five years ago.
Notice that the first and third and fourth sentences are in the past, while the second is "now". Can we make that progressive (past to present, or present to past) yet still smooth, with the two "air" references together? I think I'd move the smutting reference a bit-- let's see.
When Danielle had gone to high school here, Pemberton was a factory town, with smokestacks smutting the horizon. Danielle's father had worked there as a tool-and-die maker, until his lungs grew too congested and he moved to Arizona five years ago. The factory had closed two years later. Now as she parked the car, the sun set dramatically in the clear air.
I could see that "present" starting too-- let's see:
As Danielle parked the car, the sun set dramatically in the clear air.When she had gone to high school here, Pemberton was a factory town, with smokestacks smutting the horizon. Danielle's father had worked there as a tool-and-die maker, until his lungs grew too congested and he moved to Arizona five years ago. The factory had closed two years later.
I don't know... but I do want to point out that usually, if you're going to use the name of the character and then replace it with a pronoun, put the name first, even if you've moved sentences around.
This is one of those editing experiences that seemed a lot more important before I started the blog post. :) But paragraphs can be incoherent in interesting ways, and fixing them is fun. Really!
Alicia
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