First sentence in the scene
Starting the experience
I’m having some fun creating a big Building Bolder Scenes course, and now I’m focusing on the mechanics of creating the scene experience with the sentences and paragraphs. Scenes are EXPERIENCES, not just recountings. So getting the experience started early—the first sentence!—can set the reader up to FEEL all the way through.
You can set the stage early, hint at that "beginning emotion" of the emotional
arc of the scene, by anchoring the setting in the first paragraph or so... but
meaningfully. Here are some examples of how to sneak in emotion with
physical/setting detail in the first paragraph of the scene:
LIGHT
His bulky body filled the entrance and blocked most of the afternoon light.
She shielded her eyes against the harsh noon light and squinted at the broken
window.
He parked in the pool of yellow light from the streetlamp and slowly got out of
the car.
She woke when the dawn light sliced through the curtains. Nothing had changed.
He squinted to see through the dimness in the barroom, searching the dark booths
for the woman he had lost.
The car brakes skidded on the gravel, and when they finally stopped, the moonlit
lake was only a few feet from their front bumper.
TIME OF DAY
The Angelus bells were ringing when she started across the muddy field towards
the church.
She woke suddenly. The red glowing numbers on the bedside clock read 2:04. It
took her a moment before she realized she had missed her flight.
He was going to be late for work again. Again.
All she wanted to do was rush home and be halfway through a quart of Java Chip
ice cream before American Idol came on.
INSIDE/OUTSIDE
She pushed the porch door open and stood there a moment, drinking in the view
and the crisp mountain air.
Jamie woke up cold and damp on the bare open ground.
I knew this place—the kitchen looked familiar and unpleasant.
Patty rubbed the condensation off the passenger-side window and looked out at the snowdrift. "How stuck are
we?" she asked.
He put his fork down on the dining room table and grimly called the family to
order.
The old barn stood alone on the hill.
The road gravel infiltrated her sandals, and she was limping and lost by the
time he found her.
It was a lady's parlor, all dainty and tidy, and he didn't think he better sit
down on any of the little chairs.
AIR
The barroom smelled of ground-out cigarettes and spilled beer.
She zipped up her parka and pulled on her gloves, took a deep breath, and stepped
out the door into the howling
From the lantern-lit park pavilion across the river drifted the lazy strains of
a dance band.
The library was so overheated every breath felt like she was sucking in a blanket.
It was going to snow. She could taste it with every crystalline breath.
Not a breeze stirred the evening air, and she hesitated with her hand on the
gate.
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