Monday, March 24, 2008

Entry #8: Sweatin' It Out

The sultry sun shone upon the earth, sending death rays of heat to torment Earth’s beleaguered inhabitants. Foliage drooped, thirsty for respite from the unrelenting rays that the sun shone on purpose through the darkness of space to cause misery and suffering to everything they touched.

Meanwhile, back on the farm in Oklahoma, Frederick Farmer nudged the hat that sat grudgingly on his head glaring at the cloudless sky that refused to rain on purpose. His thoughts centered not at the work at hand, but on the Love of His Life.

Fiona Ficklestein.

She ruled his thoughts with an iron grip that made his brain hurt with a vengeance that surprised her. Oh, how she dearly loved Frederick who loved her back dearly, too.

“Yoo-hoo!” Fiona’s dulcet tones set the cows’ nerves on edge, and they mooed in protest, thinking her sweetly uttered call was music to Frederick’s ears. “Frederick!”

His heart leapt in his chest, beating to burst out and embrace her like she’d never been hugged before. Gone completely now were any lingering thoughts he’d harbored about tilling the parched land that wished for nothing more than a long drink of water. No, he had eyes only for Fiona that looked at her with such fierce enchantment he thought he might be able actually ask her to marry him.

“Fiona! You came! I feared the weather would keep you home. Not much is stirring in this heat wave.”

“I had to see you. Half a day is too long to be away from you and your manly aroma. I love a man who isn’t afraid to sweat, even though that sweat might rabidly turn on him and cause a real stink.”

“I’m your guy, then.” The wet patches under his arms added their voice to his heart-felt vow.

2 comments:

Ian Thomas Healy said...

"Manly aroma" had me giggling like a schoolgirl peeking into the boys' locker room.

Bonus points for the great opening paragraph leading into the, uh, less-great second one. :)

Ian

Dave Shaw said...

'Manly aroma' reminds me of a scene in the original Porky's. Now I feel like I'm dating myself...