Sex.
Power.
Murder.
Amen.
The Borgias.
Saw that on a magazine ad.
Showing posts with label query letters. Show all posts
Showing posts with label query letters. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Friday, August 6, 2010
Query question
Someone asked me how a query to an editor will differ from a query to an agent. This is just my opinion!
So check out the Query Shark blog for lots of (mostly bad) examples and an agent's comments. (Not for the faint of heart, but very helpful.)
My thoughts:
The diff between querying an editor and agent? Well, think of their different purposes. The editor wants a publishable book. The agent wants a client.
So for an editor, you put the emphasis on your book, what it's about, how long it is, etc. The last paragraph might be about you, but most is about the book. Generally, that's what the editor is going to be dealing with. Not your career, no matter what they might say at conferences. Editors work for their publisher's success, not yours. That doesn't mean they don't care about you and your career, but the book and how it's going to help make money for the publisher, or fill an open slot in the schedule, or win a prestigious award and result in good press for the publisher, that's what really matters.
In the agent query, you want to talk about the book you're submitting, but the agent is also going to be interested in you as a writer. What else are you writing? What genre or sub-genre do you mostly concentrate in? What is your background and how is it relevant to your writing career? (Like you live in a fishing village in Oregon, and that's where you set your books. Or you work in the oil industry and write "oil thrillers" -- don't laugh, there is such a thing. In fact, I think some writer invented the BP oil spill before it happened. I recently saw a book -- I'm fuzzy on details-- where the main character tutored rich kids in how to write college application essays and got dragged into the corruption of writing them herself... well, turns out the author had done that, and I'm sure she explained that in the query, as it's all over the marketing material that's out now.)
Don't get too high-flown here when you talk about your future plans. Your life coach might want to hear about your expectations of a quick rise to the top five of the NYT list, but the agent just wants to hear that you intend to write a four-book series in this universe and then have a YA version with the same basic storylines, and then you intend to parlay that success into a follow-up series about.... (You're not actually swearing you'll write all those.)
So in an agent letter, you might do the first paragraph or two about the book, and the next about you and your background, and then one or two about future books and future plans.
Just a different focus. See what I mean?
So check out the Query Shark blog for lots of (mostly bad) examples and an agent's comments. (Not for the faint of heart, but very helpful.)
My thoughts:
The diff between querying an editor and agent? Well, think of their different purposes. The editor wants a publishable book. The agent wants a client.
So for an editor, you put the emphasis on your book, what it's about, how long it is, etc. The last paragraph might be about you, but most is about the book. Generally, that's what the editor is going to be dealing with. Not your career, no matter what they might say at conferences. Editors work for their publisher's success, not yours. That doesn't mean they don't care about you and your career, but the book and how it's going to help make money for the publisher, or fill an open slot in the schedule, or win a prestigious award and result in good press for the publisher, that's what really matters.
In the agent query, you want to talk about the book you're submitting, but the agent is also going to be interested in you as a writer. What else are you writing? What genre or sub-genre do you mostly concentrate in? What is your background and how is it relevant to your writing career? (Like you live in a fishing village in Oregon, and that's where you set your books. Or you work in the oil industry and write "oil thrillers" -- don't laugh, there is such a thing. In fact, I think some writer invented the BP oil spill before it happened. I recently saw a book -- I'm fuzzy on details-- where the main character tutored rich kids in how to write college application essays and got dragged into the corruption of writing them herself... well, turns out the author had done that, and I'm sure she explained that in the query, as it's all over the marketing material that's out now.)
Don't get too high-flown here when you talk about your future plans. Your life coach might want to hear about your expectations of a quick rise to the top five of the NYT list, but the agent just wants to hear that you intend to write a four-book series in this universe and then have a YA version with the same basic storylines, and then you intend to parlay that success into a follow-up series about.... (You're not actually swearing you'll write all those.
So in an agent letter, you might do the first paragraph or two about the book, and the next about you and your background, and then one or two about future books and future plans.
Just a different focus. See what I mean?
Friday, June 4, 2010
Motif in Query Letters
Let's start this post the same way we started our post on theme in queries, by asking a question. What is a motif?
There are a number of ways to answer that, depending on how narrowly or broadly you wish to make the definition. In the broadest sense, a motif is any recurring element. If your lovers always part at dawn (But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?), you might be using a motif. If you use a commonly recognizable character, such as the hardboiled detective, you might be drawing on a motif built up across multiple literary works.
But for our purposes, we're going to use a narrower definition of motif. Let's agree that just for now, a motif will be any recurring concrete object, circumstance, or convention that takes on symbolic or thematic meanings within the text.
Example of a recurring concrete object:
-- Carriages in Pride and Prejudice are always tied to transformative changes in relations between the main characters. If you see a carriage, you know a relationship is getting ready to flip itself inside out. Jane travels to London to see Bingley, and he changes from doting cavalier to the man who abandoned her. Lizzy travels by carriage to visit Charlotte, and Darcy changes from icy and withdrawn to his own special brand of tormented pursuit. And so on.
Example of a recurring circumstance:
-- Harry Potter flies an awful lot -- broomsticks, hippogriffs, those skeletal dragon things, the flying car, etc., etc., and those flights are usually connected to moments at which he is making a decision to fight, to escape, or otherwise to gain independence and strength.
Example of a recurring convention:
-- In Bridget Jones' Diary (the novel, not the movie), Bridget started every diary entry with her weight, number of drinks consumed, and number of cigarettes smoked, Something like:
February 2. Weight 132. Alcohol units 9. Smokes 4,327.
These entries are directly tied to Bridget's romantic happiness. Unhappy? Numbers go up. Happy? They go down.
Where a symbol can be established in a single occurrence, a motif is built in layers. They crop up again and again at key moments. It's the very repetitive nature of motifs that can make them a useful organizational tool for a query or synopsis.
Mind you, we're not talking about anything other than how to organize your condensed plot summaries. Writers have a hard time writing clear, focused summaries because, let's face it, it's not an easy task. If you can use the motif to create a roadmap, you might make your plot summary more lucid, more condensed, and even more entertaining.
Let's say, for example, that your serial killer villain always places a personal ad describing his victim before he strikes. How many victims are there? How many ads? Write down the ads for those victims, and then write a bullet list of the key events that occur between the ads. You now have a skeletal plot outline, and have only to flesh it out, and might end up with something like:
----
Detective Sandra Cornelius is called to a grisly murder scene in which a young woman was skinned alive. A personal ad is taped to the wall above the body.
SWF, 23, brunette, rides bike to work, that skin will be my trophy.
The newspaper office provides the original order for the ad, and Sandra begins following the trail of clues. The false address leads her to an abandoned farm miles from town, inhabited only by mice and spiders. But in the mailbox, she finds another ad:
SWF, 27, long blonde hair, loves to dance, those legs will be mine forever.
Sandra returns to the newspaper office, but they have no record of this ad. She begins calling dance studios and making the rounds to see if anyone has noticed suspicious behavior. Again and again, she's frustrated by a lack of evidence, but then the call comes. Another body has been found, and this time the corpse's legs have been removed.
She identifies the source of the second ad as a consumer weekly, and begins scouring all the area papers for more ads in between following other clues. No more ads appear for a week, but then in the Sunday paper, she sees an ad that chills her blood.
SWF, 32, cap of golden curls, wears a star and frequents newspaper offices and dance clubs, you will have no eyes to see me, no mouth to speak my name, and no ears to hear your own screams.
She hears footsteps on the second floor. Her weapons are up there, safely stowed in a drawer. Can she get to them before the killer gets to her? Or should she use a weapon from the first floor -- a fireplace poker, a kitchen knife? As she's deciding, a hood drops over her head from behind, and strong hands twist the fabric until she cannot breathe. The fight is on. But she knows her home better than the killer does, and she is able to back him toward a basement door with a weak latch. She counts the steps until they are right at the threshold, and then she launches them both backward just as she's about to lose consciousness. The fall breaks his grip, and she uses a hammer to knock him out and a clothesline to tie him up.
---
Now, this is far from a good plot summary. It's too long for a query, and not developed enough for a synopsis -- and it's a shaky plot with no motive, etc. -- but for our purposes, it will serve as a decent illustration. You see how the personal ads are used to act as transitions between the pieces of plot? And you see how they illustrate something meaningful about the story? Using the motif elements as touchstones like this can create a sense of unity and coherence in the plot summary.
It doesn't have to be something that would be offset and italicized like the personal ads. Above we mentioned that carriages are a recurring motif in Pride and Prejudice, and are associated with major change. For those of you familiar with the story, try this exercise:
This isn't a cookie cutter method and it won't work for all stories, not even for all stories with strong motifs. But perhaps it will work on one of yours. Give it a try and see how it goes.
Theresa
There are a number of ways to answer that, depending on how narrowly or broadly you wish to make the definition. In the broadest sense, a motif is any recurring element. If your lovers always part at dawn (But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?), you might be using a motif. If you use a commonly recognizable character, such as the hardboiled detective, you might be drawing on a motif built up across multiple literary works.
But for our purposes, we're going to use a narrower definition of motif. Let's agree that just for now, a motif will be any recurring concrete object, circumstance, or convention that takes on symbolic or thematic meanings within the text.
Example of a recurring concrete object:
-- Carriages in Pride and Prejudice are always tied to transformative changes in relations between the main characters. If you see a carriage, you know a relationship is getting ready to flip itself inside out. Jane travels to London to see Bingley, and he changes from doting cavalier to the man who abandoned her. Lizzy travels by carriage to visit Charlotte, and Darcy changes from icy and withdrawn to his own special brand of tormented pursuit. And so on.
Example of a recurring circumstance:
-- Harry Potter flies an awful lot -- broomsticks, hippogriffs, those skeletal dragon things, the flying car, etc., etc., and those flights are usually connected to moments at which he is making a decision to fight, to escape, or otherwise to gain independence and strength.
Example of a recurring convention:
-- In Bridget Jones' Diary (the novel, not the movie), Bridget started every diary entry with her weight, number of drinks consumed, and number of cigarettes smoked, Something like:
February 2. Weight 132. Alcohol units 9. Smokes 4,327.
These entries are directly tied to Bridget's romantic happiness. Unhappy? Numbers go up. Happy? They go down.
Where a symbol can be established in a single occurrence, a motif is built in layers. They crop up again and again at key moments. It's the very repetitive nature of motifs that can make them a useful organizational tool for a query or synopsis.
Mind you, we're not talking about anything other than how to organize your condensed plot summaries. Writers have a hard time writing clear, focused summaries because, let's face it, it's not an easy task. If you can use the motif to create a roadmap, you might make your plot summary more lucid, more condensed, and even more entertaining.
Let's say, for example, that your serial killer villain always places a personal ad describing his victim before he strikes. How many victims are there? How many ads? Write down the ads for those victims, and then write a bullet list of the key events that occur between the ads. You now have a skeletal plot outline, and have only to flesh it out, and might end up with something like:
----
Detective Sandra Cornelius is called to a grisly murder scene in which a young woman was skinned alive. A personal ad is taped to the wall above the body.
SWF, 23, brunette, rides bike to work, that skin will be my trophy.
The newspaper office provides the original order for the ad, and Sandra begins following the trail of clues. The false address leads her to an abandoned farm miles from town, inhabited only by mice and spiders. But in the mailbox, she finds another ad:
SWF, 27, long blonde hair, loves to dance, those legs will be mine forever.
Sandra returns to the newspaper office, but they have no record of this ad. She begins calling dance studios and making the rounds to see if anyone has noticed suspicious behavior. Again and again, she's frustrated by a lack of evidence, but then the call comes. Another body has been found, and this time the corpse's legs have been removed.
She identifies the source of the second ad as a consumer weekly, and begins scouring all the area papers for more ads in between following other clues. No more ads appear for a week, but then in the Sunday paper, she sees an ad that chills her blood.
SWF, 32, cap of golden curls, wears a star and frequents newspaper offices and dance clubs, you will have no eyes to see me, no mouth to speak my name, and no ears to hear your own screams.
She hears footsteps on the second floor. Her weapons are up there, safely stowed in a drawer. Can she get to them before the killer gets to her? Or should she use a weapon from the first floor -- a fireplace poker, a kitchen knife? As she's deciding, a hood drops over her head from behind, and strong hands twist the fabric until she cannot breathe. The fight is on. But she knows her home better than the killer does, and she is able to back him toward a basement door with a weak latch. She counts the steps until they are right at the threshold, and then she launches them both backward just as she's about to lose consciousness. The fall breaks his grip, and she uses a hammer to knock him out and a clothesline to tie him up.
---
Now, this is far from a good plot summary. It's too long for a query, and not developed enough for a synopsis -- and it's a shaky plot with no motive, etc. -- but for our purposes, it will serve as a decent illustration. You see how the personal ads are used to act as transitions between the pieces of plot? And you see how they illustrate something meaningful about the story? Using the motif elements as touchstones like this can create a sense of unity and coherence in the plot summary.
It doesn't have to be something that would be offset and italicized like the personal ads. Above we mentioned that carriages are a recurring motif in Pride and Prejudice, and are associated with major change. For those of you familiar with the story, try this exercise:
- List the carriage trips that occur in the book
- Between the carriage trips, list the major events that occur in each location.
- String the ideas together in paragraph form. Whenever you get to a carriage trip, start a new paragraph. (You might have other new paragraphs besides these, but to highlight the motif and let it do its organizing job in the plot summary, make sure it always appears at the start of new paragraphs.)
This isn't a cookie cutter method and it won't work for all stories, not even for all stories with strong motifs. But perhaps it will work on one of yours. Give it a try and see how it goes.
Theresa
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Theme in Query Letters
Okay, before we get into the tricky concept of theme in query letters, we have to start off with a definition of theme itself.
Theme is the central idea which controls a literary work. It is the underlying meaning, the aphorism around which the plot and characters coalesce.
Theme can be broad and abstract. Most would say, for example, that the theme of Othello is jealousy. Othello is jealous of Desdemona, Iago is jealous of them both, and so on. This jealousy drives them to wild actions and tragic ends. Each character embodies a slightly different aspect of jealousy, and the plot explores the consequences of jealous behavior.
So, should Shakespeare include in his query, "My theme is jealousy"?
No. Nor should you state your theme so baldly. I really don't need to see the following sentences in any query letter:
What is interesting -- or what, at least, has the potential to be interesting -- is the way you explore the theme in your query. Just as the theme can be the unifying principle for your novel, so can it be the organizing principle for your query. (Or synopsis. Or pitch. Think about it after you've read this whole post.) So your goal is not to present the generic version of your theme in a coma-inducing statement, but to illustrate it using specific detail from your novel.
Let's say your theme is love heals all wounds. Your first job is to do a little brainstorming. Get out a sheet of paper. Write the key words from your theme in the center of the page, and draw bubbles around each word. Like so:
And now you begin to probe each part of that statement as it relates to your novel. Look not just for plot and character details which support your theme, but also for details which contradict it.
We'll make up an example to see how this goes. Your story is about Marissa and Jake, who hate each other on page one but fall in love in the end. Along the way, their nemesis Dr. Badboy kidnaps Marissa's elderly but frail grandmother. He forgets to also steal Grandma's medicine cabinet, meaning her health will be in ever greater peril as the plot develops. Jake is the superhero/FBI guy/rogue cop who investigates the case, overcomes Marissa's trust issues from a past cheating bastard boyfriend, and gets shot in Dr. Badboy's lair. Grandma's poodle is the only eyewitness to the crime and plays a key role in the investigation.
We've all seen plots something like this before, right? Marissa has a wounded heart, and she must learn to love again over the course of the plot, hence the theme, love heals all wounds.
But there's more to it than that. Your plot will contain other details supporting the theme -- concrete, specific details -- and we're going to jot them down on our paper. The easiest way to do this is to think of each keyword in the theme one at a time. Ask the journalist's questions of each keyword: who, what, where, why, when, how? For example:
As you test the way your novel supports your theme, you'll discover some interesting angles you might not have thought about before. For example, Dr. Badboy, the villain, dies of his wounds. Bot nobody loved him, right? So that supports your theme, and it can be expressed thematically in your plot summary:
No one grieves when the hateful Dr. Badboy dies of his chest wounds, and everyone rejoices when Grandma's insulin shot saves her life.
Okay, not a brilliant sentence, but you get the idea. We have very specific statements containing plot details which support your theme. How about,
As Grandma recovers in the ER, Jake and Marissa join hands, proclaim their mutual love, and find an empty hospital bed in the maternity ward to seal the deal.
(tee hee) Maybe not in those words, but do you see the theme lurking in that sentence, too? Compare these two sentences to,
In the end, Grandma is rescued and Dr. Badboy dies.
Here we lose the sense of wounds, healing, and love which floats just under the surface of the first two sentences. Also, you might want to rethink whether to include this:
Pinky Poodlepiffle, Grandma's beloved dog, is caught in the crossfire and dies in Dr. Badboy's lair.
Because it doesn't support your theme.
You can be bold about this. You can include the words love, heals, all, and wounds -- just not together in a single sentence with nothing else. You can also be more subtle, and use synonyms for these keywords. (You can also brainstorm these synonyms on your bubble map.)
Now that you've examined your theme within the context of this process, can you revise it to get more story specific? Maybe it's not love heals all wounds, but love overcomes what hate creates. If you can generate a more specific and less cliched version of your theme, you might be able to get away with stating it directly in your query. Otherwise, stick to the ideas outlined above and focus on creating a plot summary which supports the theme without stating it in cliched terms.
Theresa
Theme is the central idea which controls a literary work. It is the underlying meaning, the aphorism around which the plot and characters coalesce.
Theme can be broad and abstract. Most would say, for example, that the theme of Othello is jealousy. Othello is jealous of Desdemona, Iago is jealous of them both, and so on. This jealousy drives them to wild actions and tragic ends. Each character embodies a slightly different aspect of jealousy, and the plot explores the consequences of jealous behavior.
So, should Shakespeare include in his query, "My theme is jealousy"?
No. Nor should you state your theme so baldly. I really don't need to see the following sentences in any query letter:
- Love conquers all.
- Love heals all wounds.
- Love is blind.
- True love lasts forever.
What is interesting -- or what, at least, has the potential to be interesting -- is the way you explore the theme in your query. Just as the theme can be the unifying principle for your novel, so can it be the organizing principle for your query. (Or synopsis. Or pitch. Think about it after you've read this whole post.) So your goal is not to present the generic version of your theme in a coma-inducing statement, but to illustrate it using specific detail from your novel.
Let's say your theme is love heals all wounds. Your first job is to do a little brainstorming. Get out a sheet of paper. Write the key words from your theme in the center of the page, and draw bubbles around each word. Like so:
And now you begin to probe each part of that statement as it relates to your novel. Look not just for plot and character details which support your theme, but also for details which contradict it.
We'll make up an example to see how this goes. Your story is about Marissa and Jake, who hate each other on page one but fall in love in the end. Along the way, their nemesis Dr. Badboy kidnaps Marissa's elderly but frail grandmother. He forgets to also steal Grandma's medicine cabinet, meaning her health will be in ever greater peril as the plot develops. Jake is the superhero/FBI guy/rogue cop who investigates the case, overcomes Marissa's trust issues from a past cheating bastard boyfriend, and gets shot in Dr. Badboy's lair. Grandma's poodle is the only eyewitness to the crime and plays a key role in the investigation.
We've all seen plots something like this before, right? Marissa has a wounded heart, and she must learn to love again over the course of the plot, hence the theme, love heals all wounds.
But there's more to it than that. Your plot will contain other details supporting the theme -- concrete, specific details -- and we're going to jot them down on our paper. The easiest way to do this is to think of each keyword in the theme one at a time. Ask the journalist's questions of each keyword: who, what, where, why, when, how? For example:
- Love: Who feels love? Is it strong or weak? Does anyone feel hatred? On the first/last page, who feels love or hate?
- Heals: Heals how? Automatically, as aspirin heals a headache? Or behaviorally, as changes in activity can create change in other areas of life? There's other medication in the plot. Hmm. And the villain is named Doctor -- not Mister or His Grace the Duke of Evil.
- All: Oh, really? Are there any exceptions to ALL? Why ALL and not SOME or MOST?
- Wounds: Here's a concrete noun. Everything else has been abstract so far. So can we list actual physical wounds or conditions, as well as psychic trauma? Which are healed and which are unhealed?
As you test the way your novel supports your theme, you'll discover some interesting angles you might not have thought about before. For example, Dr. Badboy, the villain, dies of his wounds. Bot nobody loved him, right? So that supports your theme, and it can be expressed thematically in your plot summary:
No one grieves when the hateful Dr. Badboy dies of his chest wounds, and everyone rejoices when Grandma's insulin shot saves her life.
Okay, not a brilliant sentence, but you get the idea. We have very specific statements containing plot details which support your theme. How about,
As Grandma recovers in the ER, Jake and Marissa join hands, proclaim their mutual love, and find an empty hospital bed in the maternity ward to seal the deal.
(tee hee) Maybe not in those words, but do you see the theme lurking in that sentence, too? Compare these two sentences to,
In the end, Grandma is rescued and Dr. Badboy dies.
Here we lose the sense of wounds, healing, and love which floats just under the surface of the first two sentences. Also, you might want to rethink whether to include this:
Pinky Poodlepiffle, Grandma's beloved dog, is caught in the crossfire and dies in Dr. Badboy's lair.
Because it doesn't support your theme.
You can be bold about this. You can include the words love, heals, all, and wounds -- just not together in a single sentence with nothing else. You can also be more subtle, and use synonyms for these keywords. (You can also brainstorm these synonyms on your bubble map.)
Now that you've examined your theme within the context of this process, can you revise it to get more story specific? Maybe it's not love heals all wounds, but love overcomes what hate creates. If you can generate a more specific and less cliched version of your theme, you might be able to get away with stating it directly in your query. Otherwise, stick to the ideas outlined above and focus on creating a plot summary which supports the theme without stating it in cliched terms.
Theresa
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Last month we posted a little sidebar poll about things you include in a query letter. Here are the results.
Let's talk about each of these elements a little more. It's probably no surprise to experienced writers that the top winners were word count, genre/subgenre, and plot summary. Even the most skeletal query or cover letter should contain all three of these items. This is very basic stuff. (For nonfiction writers, instead of a plot summary, a short thesis will work.)
But why are these the big three?
- Word count tells me whether your story is appropriate for what my house publishes.
- Ditto for genre and subgenre, except that these also let me know how your book would be shelved or categorized by retailers so that its audience can find it.
- Where word count and genre tell me where your book fits into the larger publishing universe, the plot summary tells me about your specific book and why it might be of interest to readers.
This is partly why we tell you not to waste valuable query letter space explaining your target audience or drawing comparisons to other books. Just state the word count and genre quickly, and then move into what makes your book special.
In other words, do this:
"Space Opera" is a 110,000 word science fiction novel about an outlawed princess who needs one special warrior to help her steal back her crown from the aliens who conquered her planet.
Don't do this:
"Space Opera" is a 110,000 word science fiction novel with fantasy notes that mixes the adventure and heroic journey of Star Wars with aspects of fairy tales and mythology including a strong female protagonist, a romantic rescuer, a warning and moral to readers, and a touch of magic.
Do you see why? To me, the differences between the two approaches are glaring, but maybe we should point them out. The first lets me neatly categorize the story in the publishing spectrum before telling me about the actual story itself. The second takes me on a meandering tour of different story types and elements without telling me anything specific about the book itself. The first sentence tells me very plainly, "Shelve this with either scifi or scifi romance." The second might be scifi, but hints at fantasy, YA, and romance.
Next, the same number of voters (about 2/3 of you) chose conflict and writing credentials. Though the group finds them of equal importance, we'll talk about them separately.
Conflict is the engine that drives a commercial fiction story. It provides the structure to the book, the dramatic interest in the chapters, and the reason for readers to keep turning pages. You don't have to come right out and say, "My conflict is between the invading aliens and the native people led by the dethroned princess and her warlord boyfriend." A well-written query will have strong conflict evident throughout. Look again at our "do this" sample sentence and compare it to the "don't do this" sample. See the conflict?
Writing credentials are little nuggets that convince me you won't flake out and fail to turn in a finished manuscript on time. They demonstrate that you will meet your professional obligations because you take the craft seriously. If you don't have a publication history yet (and yes, these are the best credentials), then find other ways to demonstrate professionalism. Join a writer's group. Take online classes. Write a blog. Any of these things, and many more besides, can demonstrate your commitment and credibility.
About a third of you chose log lines, short character descriptions, and theme or motif. I was surprised in varying degrees by this.
Log lines are a handy way to shortcut the book. Our "do this" sample is essentially a log line, a one-sentence summary of the story. Because space in query letters is tight, log lines can be an effective tool for keeping things concise. That said, if you plan to include a 3-5 sentence paragraph describing your plot and a bit about the characters, it might make more sense to skip the log line and save that space for something else.
Short character descriptions are actually fairly important. Story is about people, after all.
These can be a few words or a sentence or two. These don't have to be character manifestos.
Think of it like this. Look at our "do this" sample and take out the words outlawed princess. Substitute a character name, say, Samantha Berber. Does making that substitution weaken the sample? Yes, because we don't know anything about this Samantha person, but "outlawed princess" indicates a lot about character. When you're revising your query letter, look for ways you can do this, substituting strong character words or adding little descriptive phrases to bolster the reader's understanding of the character.
Because here's the thing. I still don't know if our outlawed princess is a spoiled, pampered creature struggling to adapt to life outside the palace, or a strong-willed renegade with the leadership skills but not the battle skills. This one could go either way, and it's up to you to tell me which way it goes.
Theme and Motif. I'm not surprised that so few of you picked this, actually, as these are under-leveraged in most queries. Next time I find a few moments to blog, maybe we'll talk about ways to incorporate theme or motif into a query letter. If done well, it can really set your book above the herd.
As to the rest -- marketing plans, threats, and bribes -- these are probably best left out of your query. *grin* The one exception would be discussion of your platform (your established presence within a community of potential readers), which is one aspect of marketing that can help sell you up front.
Theresa
Word count | 84 (96%) |
Writing credentials | 59 (67%) |
Plot summary | 79 (90%) |
Log line | 33 (37%) |
Short character descriptions | 27 (31%) |
Conflict, conflict, conflict | 59 (67%) |
Theme or motif | 28 (32%) |
Genre/subgenre | 81 (93%) |
Marketing plans | 7 (8%) |
Threats of suicide and/or murder | 2 (2%) |
Cold hard cash |
Let's talk about each of these elements a little more. It's probably no surprise to experienced writers that the top winners were word count, genre/subgenre, and plot summary. Even the most skeletal query or cover letter should contain all three of these items. This is very basic stuff. (For nonfiction writers, instead of a plot summary, a short thesis will work.)
But why are these the big three?
- Word count tells me whether your story is appropriate for what my house publishes.
- Ditto for genre and subgenre, except that these also let me know how your book would be shelved or categorized by retailers so that its audience can find it.
- Where word count and genre tell me where your book fits into the larger publishing universe, the plot summary tells me about your specific book and why it might be of interest to readers.
This is partly why we tell you not to waste valuable query letter space explaining your target audience or drawing comparisons to other books. Just state the word count and genre quickly, and then move into what makes your book special.
In other words, do this:
"Space Opera" is a 110,000 word science fiction novel about an outlawed princess who needs one special warrior to help her steal back her crown from the aliens who conquered her planet.
Don't do this:
"Space Opera" is a 110,000 word science fiction novel with fantasy notes that mixes the adventure and heroic journey of Star Wars with aspects of fairy tales and mythology including a strong female protagonist, a romantic rescuer, a warning and moral to readers, and a touch of magic.
Do you see why? To me, the differences between the two approaches are glaring, but maybe we should point them out. The first lets me neatly categorize the story in the publishing spectrum before telling me about the actual story itself. The second takes me on a meandering tour of different story types and elements without telling me anything specific about the book itself. The first sentence tells me very plainly, "Shelve this with either scifi or scifi romance." The second might be scifi, but hints at fantasy, YA, and romance.
Next, the same number of voters (about 2/3 of you) chose conflict and writing credentials. Though the group finds them of equal importance, we'll talk about them separately.
Conflict is the engine that drives a commercial fiction story. It provides the structure to the book, the dramatic interest in the chapters, and the reason for readers to keep turning pages. You don't have to come right out and say, "My conflict is between the invading aliens and the native people led by the dethroned princess and her warlord boyfriend." A well-written query will have strong conflict evident throughout. Look again at our "do this" sample sentence and compare it to the "don't do this" sample. See the conflict?
Writing credentials are little nuggets that convince me you won't flake out and fail to turn in a finished manuscript on time. They demonstrate that you will meet your professional obligations because you take the craft seriously. If you don't have a publication history yet (and yes, these are the best credentials), then find other ways to demonstrate professionalism. Join a writer's group. Take online classes. Write a blog. Any of these things, and many more besides, can demonstrate your commitment and credibility.
About a third of you chose log lines, short character descriptions, and theme or motif. I was surprised in varying degrees by this.
Log lines are a handy way to shortcut the book. Our "do this" sample is essentially a log line, a one-sentence summary of the story. Because space in query letters is tight, log lines can be an effective tool for keeping things concise. That said, if you plan to include a 3-5 sentence paragraph describing your plot and a bit about the characters, it might make more sense to skip the log line and save that space for something else.
Short character descriptions are actually fairly important. Story is about people, after all.
These can be a few words or a sentence or two. These don't have to be character manifestos.
Think of it like this. Look at our "do this" sample and take out the words outlawed princess. Substitute a character name, say, Samantha Berber. Does making that substitution weaken the sample? Yes, because we don't know anything about this Samantha person, but "outlawed princess" indicates a lot about character. When you're revising your query letter, look for ways you can do this, substituting strong character words or adding little descriptive phrases to bolster the reader's understanding of the character.
Because here's the thing. I still don't know if our outlawed princess is a spoiled, pampered creature struggling to adapt to life outside the palace, or a strong-willed renegade with the leadership skills but not the battle skills. This one could go either way, and it's up to you to tell me which way it goes.
Theme and Motif. I'm not surprised that so few of you picked this, actually, as these are under-leveraged in most queries. Next time I find a few moments to blog, maybe we'll talk about ways to incorporate theme or motif into a query letter. If done well, it can really set your book above the herd.
As to the rest -- marketing plans, threats, and bribes -- these are probably best left out of your query. *grin* The one exception would be discussion of your platform (your established presence within a community of potential readers), which is one aspect of marketing that can help sell you up front.
Theresa
Friday, April 9, 2010
Insomnia
Up too early this morning, just one of those mornings when there's no reason for insomnia but it strikes anyway. So I finally gave up the attempt and crawled to my desk for a good old slush dive.
In an hour, I banged through about two dozen subs. That works out to roughly 2.5 minutes per sub, except that averaging them out in this way doesn't give a good representation of how the hour was actually spent. I opened the submission and scanned right away for three things:
That still works out to about 4.5 minutes per sub, and though that's almost double our earlier average, it probably still seems like I'm skimming or not giving enough attention to each manuscript.
But again, averages don't show the whole picture. Of that dozen subs that passed the 1-2-3 test, probably 10 were rejected quickly for problems in the technical aspects of the writing. In general, if the first page contains multiple verb tense errors, dangling modifiers, bad dialogue tags, punctuation errors, and so on, we know the rest of the manuscript will be in much the same shape. Those can be rejected in probably two minutes each, three if I get distracted and start editing in my head.
So let's estimate 6 minutes on the subs that are completely wrong for us, and another 20 minutes on the ones that are fast rejections for bad writing. This leaves us with two manuscripts and about half an hour left in the hour or so. If the writer followed our guidelines, this means we're looking at two one-page synopses and two ten-page partials.
For the first the writing is very good. Lots of energy in the prose. Clear characterizations. Good stuff. But from reading the synopsis, it's clear that there's a structural problem in the plot. I make a few notes to be included in the rejection letter -- this is a good writer, and the problems are fixable, so it's worth a few minutes to jot some notes of encouragement and explanation for her. Still, this one doesn't take more than ten minutes of my time, including my notes.
That means that the one good submission, the one that is appropriate for our house, well-written, and (based on the synopsis) well plotted, gets roughly 20 minutes of my time. This is ample to read enough of the submission to know that we want to see the full manuscript. I don't need to perform a detailed analysis at this point, after all.
Perhaps worth noting is that the two best submissions also had the best cover letters. One opened with a log line clearly encapsulating the characters and conflict. Then followed a paragraph with a conflict-focused plot summary and a paragraph with credentials and similar data. Based on the submission, I can tell that this story is very character-driven with lots of emotion and a prominent conflict. The query letter plays to these strengths.
The other opened with some discussion of her theme and premise, both of which are unusual enough to be eye-catching. She only gave a quick sketch of the plot, just enough to fill in some blanks left by the discussion of the premise. This works, though, for this particular book, and again, it plays to the submission's particular strengths.
In other words, both of these cover letters demonstrate a clear-eyed understanding of what makes these books stand out from the pack. Neither used "hooks" but they managed to hook me, just the same.
Theresa
In an hour, I banged through about two dozen subs. That works out to roughly 2.5 minutes per sub, except that averaging them out in this way doesn't give a good representation of how the hour was actually spent. I opened the submission and scanned right away for three things:
- Is it romance?
- Is there erotic content?
- What is the word count?
That still works out to about 4.5 minutes per sub, and though that's almost double our earlier average, it probably still seems like I'm skimming or not giving enough attention to each manuscript.
But again, averages don't show the whole picture. Of that dozen subs that passed the 1-2-3 test, probably 10 were rejected quickly for problems in the technical aspects of the writing. In general, if the first page contains multiple verb tense errors, dangling modifiers, bad dialogue tags, punctuation errors, and so on, we know the rest of the manuscript will be in much the same shape. Those can be rejected in probably two minutes each, three if I get distracted and start editing in my head.
So let's estimate 6 minutes on the subs that are completely wrong for us, and another 20 minutes on the ones that are fast rejections for bad writing. This leaves us with two manuscripts and about half an hour left in the hour or so. If the writer followed our guidelines, this means we're looking at two one-page synopses and two ten-page partials.
For the first the writing is very good. Lots of energy in the prose. Clear characterizations. Good stuff. But from reading the synopsis, it's clear that there's a structural problem in the plot. I make a few notes to be included in the rejection letter -- this is a good writer, and the problems are fixable, so it's worth a few minutes to jot some notes of encouragement and explanation for her. Still, this one doesn't take more than ten minutes of my time, including my notes.
That means that the one good submission, the one that is appropriate for our house, well-written, and (based on the synopsis) well plotted, gets roughly 20 minutes of my time. This is ample to read enough of the submission to know that we want to see the full manuscript. I don't need to perform a detailed analysis at this point, after all.
Perhaps worth noting is that the two best submissions also had the best cover letters. One opened with a log line clearly encapsulating the characters and conflict. Then followed a paragraph with a conflict-focused plot summary and a paragraph with credentials and similar data. Based on the submission, I can tell that this story is very character-driven with lots of emotion and a prominent conflict. The query letter plays to these strengths.
The other opened with some discussion of her theme and premise, both of which are unusual enough to be eye-catching. She only gave a quick sketch of the plot, just enough to fill in some blanks left by the discussion of the premise. This works, though, for this particular book, and again, it plays to the submission's particular strengths.
In other words, both of these cover letters demonstrate a clear-eyed understanding of what makes these books stand out from the pack. Neither used "hooks" but they managed to hook me, just the same.
Theresa
Friday, January 22, 2010
More on Steampunk
Alison and Theresa have already discussed the Steampunk genre, and I have only one thought-- question really.
Let's say you are going to submit a Steampunk novel. You might have noticed, and if not, Alison made a good case for it, that the current Sherlock Holmes movie has certain important Steampunk markers.
(It also has Jude Law, and you remember I said that if Jude Law planning to star in an adaptation of your book, that would get me to read it? Well, I am modifying that. Jude Law plus Robert Downey, Jr., making googly eyes at each other in your book? Sold!!!!)
Now Steampunk isn't a genre and doesn't have its own publishing lines, as far as I know. So you can't count on that YA editor or that s/f editor knowing as much as Alison knows (or Theresa knows now, having edited one). My question is:
You naturally want to provide some notion of how your book fits in with a trend and how it might be marketed. And so you might refer to the Sherlock Holmes film in your query letter. How would you do that without being annoying (I for one get annoyed with those breezy brain-teasers: "It's like Sleepless in Seattle meets Pulp Fiction!")?
The purpose would be, I presume, twofold-- one to give a quick way to understand what the approach is, and second to say it's really cool and trendy now. So give me a couple sentences or a paragraph where you might insert the mention of the film in a subtle and effective way, connecting it to your own Steampunk story.
Alicia
Let's say you are going to submit a Steampunk novel. You might have noticed, and if not, Alison made a good case for it, that the current Sherlock Holmes movie has certain important Steampunk markers.
(It also has Jude Law, and you remember I said that if Jude Law planning to star in an adaptation of your book, that would get me to read it? Well, I am modifying that. Jude Law plus Robert Downey, Jr., making googly eyes at each other in your book? Sold!!!!)
Now Steampunk isn't a genre and doesn't have its own publishing lines, as far as I know. So you can't count on that YA editor or that s/f editor knowing as much as Alison knows (or Theresa knows now, having edited one). My question is:
You naturally want to provide some notion of how your book fits in with a trend and how it might be marketed. And so you might refer to the Sherlock Holmes film in your query letter. How would you do that without being annoying (I for one get annoyed with those breezy brain-teasers: "It's like Sleepless in Seattle meets Pulp Fiction!")?
The purpose would be, I presume, twofold-- one to give a quick way to understand what the approach is, and second to say it's really cool and trendy now. So give me a couple sentences or a paragraph where you might insert the mention of the film in a subtle and effective way, connecting it to your own Steampunk story.
Alicia
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Vanity "Experience"
Here's a question that's been coming up pretty regularly lately. If you've had a book "released" through one of the vanity presses, how should you reference that in a query letter?
Let's start by distinguishing between vanity publishing and self-publishing. I'm sure some of you learned the difference as a result of a certain recent kerfuffle, but in case you didn't:
Vanity publishing: Sometimes also called subsidy publishing, though there are technical differences between the two. More or less, you pay for all aspects of the publication of the work. The vanity company offers a variety of options, which you select as from a menu. You get no services other than those you pay for. You get little or no meaningful distribution through the label, with little to no possibility of distributing it yourself through standard channels. The ISBN and bar codes are linked to the vanity label, not to you. You give up part or all of the rights, and you don't get the profits but are paid some form of royalty or split.
Self-publishing: You act as your own publisher. You hire a press, a designer, editors, artists, and so on, or you do the work yourself. You learn about things like bleeds and trims, and you spend many hours wondering just how necessary Adobe Distiller really is. You get an ISBN of your own, and maybe bar codes, too. (Though, if you're frugal, you might get these in other ways than by registering your company and paying the fees.) You keep all rights to the work (through your company, probably), and you keep all profits from sales. You figure out distribution options and, if you're lucky, sell to national accounts.
There are legitimate reasons for choosing either option. If you have little publishing experience and less time, and if you have a project of mostly personal value -- a family history, your dissertation, your child's drawings and notes -- vanity publishing might be a good option. If you have a nonfiction project and an established platform, and you're willing to learn and work, then self-publishing might be a good option.
Generally, neither is a good option for fiction. There are exceptions to that general principle, of course, and it may be that you had some legitimate reason for choosing one of these options, some of which I'll mention below.
Which brings us to your query letter.
If you have self-published a non-fiction book, it won't hurt you at all to mention that in your query. It might not be necessary as it might not fit your query, but that is rather case-specific. The point is, if you choose to include it, it probably won't hurt you. You can mention something about how you've built a platform for your nonfiction works, have experience with PR and marketing, that sort of thing. You might even mention how you could leverage your existing non-fiction platform and press contacts for your novel's publicity.
If you have self-published a novel or other fiction, you will probably want to keep that fact to yourself unless you can legitimately demonstrate a solid reason for self-publishing. Without such a reason, I will assume you self-published because you couldn't find someone else to publish it for you. And that won't score you any points.
Examples of legitimate reasons:
What do these examples have in common? They don't undermine your credibility as a professional. In fact, they might even enhance it by demonstrating your understanding of the industry.
If you have vanity published a personal project, it probably won't hurt to mention it as long as it's clear that this was a highly personal project suitable for vanity publication. But is it relevant? Why would your decision to present your siblings with bound copies of grandpa's journal be relevant to our potential business relationship? I'm not saying it can never matter -- perhaps this was the project that whet your appetite for publishing and led you to try your hand at writing. But if there's no connection, there's probably no reason to mention it.
If you have vanity published a novel, you're probably better off keeping that information to yourself. Generally, we expect novels to be published through normal market channels *if* they're good enough. If they're not good enough, and they get rejected by everyone on the planet, that's not exactly a fact you would want to broadcast.
Now it may be that you have some legitimate reason for vanity publishing a project that isn't quite a personal project. I'm willing to believe it's possible, even though I'm not personally aware of any such reasons. In that case, tell me the reason in the query letter. Otherwise, I will assume the book just wasn't good enough and you vanity published as an act of desperation. Sorry if that sounds cold. Sometimes the truth, she is an icy bitch.
What's the bottom line? Have a good reason to justify it, or don't mention it at all.
Theresa
Let's start by distinguishing between vanity publishing and self-publishing. I'm sure some of you learned the difference as a result of a certain recent kerfuffle, but in case you didn't:
Vanity publishing: Sometimes also called subsidy publishing, though there are technical differences between the two. More or less, you pay for all aspects of the publication of the work. The vanity company offers a variety of options, which you select as from a menu. You get no services other than those you pay for. You get little or no meaningful distribution through the label, with little to no possibility of distributing it yourself through standard channels. The ISBN and bar codes are linked to the vanity label, not to you. You give up part or all of the rights, and you don't get the profits but are paid some form of royalty or split.
Self-publishing: You act as your own publisher. You hire a press, a designer, editors, artists, and so on, or you do the work yourself. You learn about things like bleeds and trims, and you spend many hours wondering just how necessary Adobe Distiller really is. You get an ISBN of your own, and maybe bar codes, too. (Though, if you're frugal, you might get these in other ways than by registering your company and paying the fees.) You keep all rights to the work (through your company, probably), and you keep all profits from sales. You figure out distribution options and, if you're lucky, sell to national accounts.
There are legitimate reasons for choosing either option. If you have little publishing experience and less time, and if you have a project of mostly personal value -- a family history, your dissertation, your child's drawings and notes -- vanity publishing might be a good option. If you have a nonfiction project and an established platform, and you're willing to learn and work, then self-publishing might be a good option.
Generally, neither is a good option for fiction. There are exceptions to that general principle, of course, and it may be that you had some legitimate reason for choosing one of these options, some of which I'll mention below.
Which brings us to your query letter.
If you have self-published a non-fiction book, it won't hurt you at all to mention that in your query. It might not be necessary as it might not fit your query, but that is rather case-specific. The point is, if you choose to include it, it probably won't hurt you. You can mention something about how you've built a platform for your nonfiction works, have experience with PR and marketing, that sort of thing. You might even mention how you could leverage your existing non-fiction platform and press contacts for your novel's publicity.
If you have self-published a novel or other fiction, you will probably want to keep that fact to yourself unless you can legitimately demonstrate a solid reason for self-publishing. Without such a reason, I will assume you self-published because you couldn't find someone else to publish it for you. And that won't score you any points.
Examples of legitimate reasons:
- You wanted to learn the publishing business from every angle.
- You ran your own press and published many authors, including yourself.
- You were mid-series when your publisher folded and you wanted to complete the series yourself.
- You have an extensive publication history and recognized that this was a pet, one-off project not worth troubling your publisher with.
What do these examples have in common? They don't undermine your credibility as a professional. In fact, they might even enhance it by demonstrating your understanding of the industry.
If you have vanity published a personal project, it probably won't hurt to mention it as long as it's clear that this was a highly personal project suitable for vanity publication. But is it relevant? Why would your decision to present your siblings with bound copies of grandpa's journal be relevant to our potential business relationship? I'm not saying it can never matter -- perhaps this was the project that whet your appetite for publishing and led you to try your hand at writing. But if there's no connection, there's probably no reason to mention it.
If you have vanity published a novel, you're probably better off keeping that information to yourself. Generally, we expect novels to be published through normal market channels *if* they're good enough. If they're not good enough, and they get rejected by everyone on the planet, that's not exactly a fact you would want to broadcast.
Now it may be that you have some legitimate reason for vanity publishing a project that isn't quite a personal project. I'm willing to believe it's possible, even though I'm not personally aware of any such reasons. In that case, tell me the reason in the query letter. Otherwise, I will assume the book just wasn't good enough and you vanity published as an act of desperation. Sorry if that sounds cold. Sometimes the truth, she is an icy bitch.
What's the bottom line? Have a good reason to justify it, or don't mention it at all.
Theresa
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Fakery and Fuckery
Here's a handy submissions tip.
Don't pretend to be your own agent.
We've seen a rash of this lately, and there are frequent tells, including using the same email account or phone number for the "agent" and the author. Or creating a phony web url for the "agency." Or the "agent" who pitches the work and invites us to contact the author directly to close the deal.
(sigh)
Theresa
Don't pretend to be your own agent.
We've seen a rash of this lately, and there are frequent tells, including using the same email account or phone number for the "agent" and the author. Or creating a phony web url for the "agency." Or the "agent" who pitches the work and invites us to contact the author directly to close the deal.
(sigh)
Theresa
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Query question
I'm in another airport... I should take and upload photos, but fortunately, I haven't the slightest idea how to do that. :) Anyway, had a thought.
Or a question.
Let's say you've written a great book that happens to have one of those "instant rejection" markers, but really, it's good! And you can't change whatever, because it's important, etc.
Okay, specifics. I had a book that started in Russia. Well, that is, apparently, one of those Kiss of Death things I got away with because it was a long time ago. Anyway, let's say your book starts Somewhere Books Aren't Supposed to Start, or has some important plot element that is sure to antagonize in summary (but works in the book).
And here you are, trying to write a query letter or a synopsis. What do you do? You know the editor or agent might instantly-R this, just seeing that word (Russia, psylocibin, child death). So how do you work around that?
Open discussion thread on that! (And this is why, as an editor, I always skim the query and read the pages-- I don't want to reject the next JK Rowling because she puts "wizard" in the query.)
What do you do then? If you want the editor/agent to ask for some chapters?
Alicia
Or a question.
Let's say you've written a great book that happens to have one of those "instant rejection" markers, but really, it's good! And you can't change whatever, because it's important, etc.
Okay, specifics. I had a book that started in Russia. Well, that is, apparently, one of those Kiss of Death things I got away with because it was a long time ago. Anyway, let's say your book starts Somewhere Books Aren't Supposed to Start, or has some important plot element that is sure to antagonize in summary (but works in the book).
And here you are, trying to write a query letter or a synopsis. What do you do? You know the editor or agent might instantly-R this, just seeing that word (Russia, psylocibin, child death). So how do you work around that?
Open discussion thread on that! (And this is why, as an editor, I always skim the query and read the pages-- I don't want to reject the next JK Rowling because she puts "wizard" in the query.)
What do you do then? If you want the editor/agent to ask for some chapters?
Alicia
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Marks of an Amateur: The Query Letter
I loved Alicia's list of red flags in manuscripts that make us think the writer might be not quite ready yet. Her list focused on the actual manuscripts, and I thought it might make sense to do a companion list for query letters.
1. Dropping a Stranger's Name/Botching a Personal Referral
"Annie Author suggested I send this to you." You know, sometimes we will ask Annie Author if she actually made this referral. Sometimes Annie Author is downright puzzled that her name is being bandied about by random strangers, and that might just get you a rejection. It may very well be that you met Annie in line for lunch at a conference, and she said you should look into submitting to her publisher. But that's not quite the same as a personal referral.
The absolute best way to handle a personal referral is to get Annie Author to send me a quick email right around the time that you sub your work. Also, a good rule of thumb is to assume that your published friends will do less for you than you would like them to do. This is because a) you probably want too much, and b) when you ask an author for a referral, they're likely to give you the nice polite answer.
You're safe to assume that when I ask Annie Author if she referred you, her answer will be somewhat muted and self-protective. "Yes, I know her. I see her at chapter meetings a few times a year. She seems nice." This endorsement might seem lukewarm to you, but at least nobody is stabbing you in the back. That happens, too. "She asked me if she could use my name. Awkward! I couldn't exactly say no." Or, the dreaded, "Yes, I know her. She told me I was committing career suicide by writing erotic romance. Did she actually use my name?"
2. Asking for Representation Instead of Publication
"Hello, I hope you will consider representing my book, The Pregnant Billionaire Sheikh's Matchmaking Virgin."
Nope. I won't consider that. I understand that you may have drafted a form query when seeking an agent, but it's not appropriate to use the same form letter when submitting directly to publishers. You do understand the difference between an agent and a publisher, right?
3. Issuing Demands
"Here's my plan. You publish this in December so we can get lots of holiday sales."
(Great plan. Good luck with that.)
"If I don't hear from you by Friday, I'll sell it to someone else."
(Okay. ::shrug:: Good luck with that.)
"My marketing plan requires you to publish this in X formats."
(Heh. You think your marketing plan leads our distribution? Good luck with that.)
Does this sound cruel? I think we often go to great lengths to accommodate our authors. I even consult with them sometimes about their preferences for release dates and similar decisions. (Sometimes. When I have that flexibility and have a reason for exercising it. It's not always possible.) But there is a wide world of difference between talking to a contracted author about whether March or April suits her better, and accepting a slush sub from an author who thinks they have rights over the entire corporate calendar.
4. Providing Cover Art
I won't say this is an auto-rejection. Does that surprise you? We've let several author make their own covers, and we've been dazzled by the results. Creative people are often cross-functional. Think about how many writers you know who are also pastry chefs, guitar players, avid scrapbookers, seamstresses, and so on. Why shouldn't a writer also be a graphic designer?
But here's the catch. Your art had better be good, and it had better fit in with our house style. Covers are a very tricky business. We often reject covers or ask for changes to various elements, and those are covers provided by artists who've worked with us for years. This isn't because we're capricious, but because the cover is hoo-damn important, one of the most powerful selling tools we've got.
If you want to do your own cover art, my advice is that you first establish your relationship with the publisher. Get them to buy your manuscript. Show them you're capable of taking constructive criticism. Demonstrate that you understand house style. And then, if you can deliver a strong cover, we might consider it.
In other words, don't submit your proposed cover with your manuscript. Wait until later.
5. Never, Never, Never Send a "Hurry! Act Now!" Letter
Do you really want me to equate your query letter with junk mail? 'Nuff said.
6. Selling Yourself Short
I can't tell you how many queries include some variation of this statement:
I might not be Hemingway, but I hope you'll give me a chance.
Okay, first of all, know your audience. "Not Hemingway" might actually be a selling point rather than a detraction. Alicia will remember this -- we were once at a conference together, God knows when, but I think it was in Indianapolis. The speaker was trying to make a point about using simple, clear, direct words. This was a romance conference, keep in mind. Romance insiders enjoy poking fun at Hemingway and speculating on just how tiny his penis must have been if it required that much overcompensation. I mean, really, think about it. Hemingway is sort of the opposite of romance.
So the poor speaker, a very nice man who deserved better treatment, said something about how magnificent Hemingway was because he only had 3500 words in his vocabulary. And the entire room erupted in sighs, groans, eyerolls, titters, and muttered comments about how that explains a few things. The speaker was shocked. He couldn't believe that an entire roomful of people would have a laugh at the expense of St. Ernest. (Required FTC Disclaimer: I have not been compensated in any way for stating my opinion -- perhaps we should say suspicion -- that Hemingway had a tiny penis. If it turns out that he had a cock like a yule log, his publishers should not be fined for my deceptive statement.)
In any case, if you name a famous author, you do so without knowing what I think of that author. And my opinion might surprise you. Even if our opinions coincide perfectly, don't let false modesty get in your way. You send me your work because you want my opinion on its publishability. Don't invite me to form a negative opinion before I've opened the file.
7. Overselling Yourself
"My daughter thinks this is every bit as good as Stephenie Meyer's books."
(Cool. Is your daughter going to publish it, then?)
"This book is going to make us both rich."
(Your lips to god's ears. Sure, lightning can strike. And Dr. Emmett Brown can even predict where and when. The rest of us have to rely on P&Ls with past performance indicators, and if you're a new author, your indicator is not going to be Dan Brown.)
There are thousands of reasons why you shouldn't boast in a query letter, and I suspect those reasons are obvious. Your book might be the biggest breakthrough in romance since The Flame and the Flower, but you're not the one who gets to decide that. The marketplace does.
8. Using Rhetorical Questions as Hooks.
"Did you ever wonder what the world would be like if trees developed the ability to speak and walk, and they conquered the world?"
Um, no. Can't say I have.
Hucksters use this kind of Q&A format to try to build bonds with their audience, which they can then exploit to make a sale. One of the keys to this selling technique is picking a question with a predictable and controllable answer. Have you ever worn clothes? Have you ever smelled food cooking? Have you ever seen dirt? Why, yes, I have! However did you know? Then boy, do I have a product for you!
This techniques simply doesn't translate neatly to fiction queries. It's hard to build that common bond by referencing something unique like warlord trees, on the one hand. And on the other, if you do reference something common enough to build a bond, you're in danger of losing what makes your book unique. (Do you long for a story with a happy ending?)
It's a hard technique for a query letter, and you're better off avoiding it.
These are a few of the things we see over and over in query letters that make us doubt the readiness of the author. I'm sure there are more! Alicia, you have anything to add to the list?
Theresa
1. Dropping a Stranger's Name/Botching a Personal Referral
"Annie Author suggested I send this to you." You know, sometimes we will ask Annie Author if she actually made this referral. Sometimes Annie Author is downright puzzled that her name is being bandied about by random strangers, and that might just get you a rejection. It may very well be that you met Annie in line for lunch at a conference, and she said you should look into submitting to her publisher. But that's not quite the same as a personal referral.
The absolute best way to handle a personal referral is to get Annie Author to send me a quick email right around the time that you sub your work. Also, a good rule of thumb is to assume that your published friends will do less for you than you would like them to do. This is because a) you probably want too much, and b) when you ask an author for a referral, they're likely to give you the nice polite answer.
You're safe to assume that when I ask Annie Author if she referred you, her answer will be somewhat muted and self-protective. "Yes, I know her. I see her at chapter meetings a few times a year. She seems nice." This endorsement might seem lukewarm to you, but at least nobody is stabbing you in the back. That happens, too. "She asked me if she could use my name. Awkward! I couldn't exactly say no." Or, the dreaded, "Yes, I know her. She told me I was committing career suicide by writing erotic romance. Did she actually use my name?"
2. Asking for Representation Instead of Publication
"Hello, I hope you will consider representing my book, The Pregnant Billionaire Sheikh's Matchmaking Virgin."
Nope. I won't consider that. I understand that you may have drafted a form query when seeking an agent, but it's not appropriate to use the same form letter when submitting directly to publishers. You do understand the difference between an agent and a publisher, right?
3. Issuing Demands
"Here's my plan. You publish this in December so we can get lots of holiday sales."
(Great plan. Good luck with that.)
"If I don't hear from you by Friday, I'll sell it to someone else."
(Okay. ::shrug:: Good luck with that.)
"My marketing plan requires you to publish this in X formats."
(Heh. You think your marketing plan leads our distribution? Good luck with that.)
Does this sound cruel? I think we often go to great lengths to accommodate our authors. I even consult with them sometimes about their preferences for release dates and similar decisions. (Sometimes. When I have that flexibility and have a reason for exercising it. It's not always possible.) But there is a wide world of difference between talking to a contracted author about whether March or April suits her better, and accepting a slush sub from an author who thinks they have rights over the entire corporate calendar.
4. Providing Cover Art
I won't say this is an auto-rejection. Does that surprise you? We've let several author make their own covers, and we've been dazzled by the results. Creative people are often cross-functional. Think about how many writers you know who are also pastry chefs, guitar players, avid scrapbookers, seamstresses, and so on. Why shouldn't a writer also be a graphic designer?
But here's the catch. Your art had better be good, and it had better fit in with our house style. Covers are a very tricky business. We often reject covers or ask for changes to various elements, and those are covers provided by artists who've worked with us for years. This isn't because we're capricious, but because the cover is hoo-damn important, one of the most powerful selling tools we've got.
If you want to do your own cover art, my advice is that you first establish your relationship with the publisher. Get them to buy your manuscript. Show them you're capable of taking constructive criticism. Demonstrate that you understand house style. And then, if you can deliver a strong cover, we might consider it.
In other words, don't submit your proposed cover with your manuscript. Wait until later.
5. Never, Never, Never Send a "Hurry! Act Now!" Letter
Do you really want me to equate your query letter with junk mail? 'Nuff said.
6. Selling Yourself Short
I can't tell you how many queries include some variation of this statement:
I might not be Hemingway, but I hope you'll give me a chance.
Okay, first of all, know your audience. "Not Hemingway" might actually be a selling point rather than a detraction. Alicia will remember this -- we were once at a conference together, God knows when, but I think it was in Indianapolis. The speaker was trying to make a point about using simple, clear, direct words. This was a romance conference, keep in mind. Romance insiders enjoy poking fun at Hemingway and speculating on just how tiny his penis must have been if it required that much overcompensation. I mean, really, think about it. Hemingway is sort of the opposite of romance.
So the poor speaker, a very nice man who deserved better treatment, said something about how magnificent Hemingway was because he only had 3500 words in his vocabulary. And the entire room erupted in sighs, groans, eyerolls, titters, and muttered comments about how that explains a few things. The speaker was shocked. He couldn't believe that an entire roomful of people would have a laugh at the expense of St. Ernest. (Required FTC Disclaimer: I have not been compensated in any way for stating my opinion -- perhaps we should say suspicion -- that Hemingway had a tiny penis. If it turns out that he had a cock like a yule log, his publishers should not be fined for my deceptive statement.)
In any case, if you name a famous author, you do so without knowing what I think of that author. And my opinion might surprise you. Even if our opinions coincide perfectly, don't let false modesty get in your way. You send me your work because you want my opinion on its publishability. Don't invite me to form a negative opinion before I've opened the file.
7. Overselling Yourself
"My daughter thinks this is every bit as good as Stephenie Meyer's books."
(Cool. Is your daughter going to publish it, then?)
"This book is going to make us both rich."
(Your lips to god's ears. Sure, lightning can strike. And Dr. Emmett Brown can even predict where and when. The rest of us have to rely on P&Ls with past performance indicators, and if you're a new author, your indicator is not going to be Dan Brown.)
There are thousands of reasons why you shouldn't boast in a query letter, and I suspect those reasons are obvious. Your book might be the biggest breakthrough in romance since The Flame and the Flower, but you're not the one who gets to decide that. The marketplace does.
8. Using Rhetorical Questions as Hooks.
"Did you ever wonder what the world would be like if trees developed the ability to speak and walk, and they conquered the world?"
Um, no. Can't say I have.
Hucksters use this kind of Q&A format to try to build bonds with their audience, which they can then exploit to make a sale. One of the keys to this selling technique is picking a question with a predictable and controllable answer. Have you ever worn clothes? Have you ever smelled food cooking? Have you ever seen dirt? Why, yes, I have! However did you know? Then boy, do I have a product for you!
This techniques simply doesn't translate neatly to fiction queries. It's hard to build that common bond by referencing something unique like warlord trees, on the one hand. And on the other, if you do reference something common enough to build a bond, you're in danger of losing what makes your book unique. (Do you long for a story with a happy ending?)
It's a hard technique for a query letter, and you're better off avoiding it.
These are a few of the things we see over and over in query letters that make us doubt the readiness of the author. I'm sure there are more! Alicia, you have anything to add to the list?
Theresa
Friday, September 4, 2009
Newbie "Tells"
Alicia posted some of the things she considers "marks of an amateur," and she spent some time explaining why adverbs used as empty amplifiers can weaken prose.
I agree with her (of course), but would add that other kinds of empty amplifiers hurt the prose, too. Bling punctuation is a good example of this, and one we've blogged about in the past. Look on the sidebar for a link to posts about ellipses if you need a refresher. The bottom line? Strong conflicts don't need gimmicks and bling. They're strong enough without them. (And if they're not strong enough without them, you might want to look at strengthening them instead of adding a chain of exclamation marks.)
Other things that can make me doubt your readiness--
-- loads of present participial phrases
-- misplaced modifiers
-- dangling modifiers
-- errors in usage
-- too much exposition or "set-up"
-- comparing your work to Hemingway's*
-- telling me you're agented when you're not**
-- selling yourself short***
-- lack of respect for the genre****
-- lots of grammar or punctuation errors*****
-- query letters that read like bad ad campaigns******
More than all this, though, is that you can just tell when a writer is not in complete control of the narrative. Maybe there are so many vague, ten-dollar words that you lose track of the action. Or maybe the prose is so flat that the characters vanish into the page. They don't know how to focus on action and exploit conflicts, or they don't know how to write sentences that crackle with energy. There are long meanders through character histories and resumes. Characters die in chapter four, and then reappear without explanation in chapter nine. Characters change their hair color, occupation, and even gender mid-story. Characters dress in parkas and boots to go snorkeling in Jamaica.
The point is that each newbie manuscript is unique to some degree, and often manuscripts fail in unique ways. There are common faults, and these should be avoided at all costs, of course. But it takes work to control a narrative. It takes careful, deliberate thought. There's a long learning curve in fiction writing, and it can be hard to accurately assess where you are on that curve. That doesn't mean you stop trying. It means you have to understand what you're in for. There may be frustrating moments and hurt feelings and loads of self-doubt.
But there's also magic. Everything you do along the learning curve brings you closer to that magic when you suddenly understand that all story is character, and all narrative is story. When you understand that, you'll know that there is no failure in writing. There is only a learning curve and, eventually, magic.
* Don't do this. But especially don't do this if you're writing romance. Hemingway is the opposite of romance. (A shocking number of writers talk about Hemingway in their queries. Why?)
** You think we can't google this? Imaginary agents can only negotiate imaginary deals.
*** "I'm not very good at this, but I'm willing to learn more." Great. You do that, and after you've learned what you need to know, write something new to sub.
**** "I am writing the great American novel, but thought I would write romance to support myself along the way." Yeah, because it's so easy to make a living writing romance these days.
***** I'm not talking about optional usages. I know when an author has deliberately chosen to use or not use a particular comma convention. I also know when they they're just sprinkling commas like glitter because they suspect commas should go somewhere.
****** "Theresa, do you yearn to discover new talent? Crave the excitement of seeing a book climb the bestseller charts? Call today to learn more about this exciting manuscript!"
Theresa the Picky
I agree with her (of course), but would add that other kinds of empty amplifiers hurt the prose, too. Bling punctuation is a good example of this, and one we've blogged about in the past. Look on the sidebar for a link to posts about ellipses if you need a refresher. The bottom line? Strong conflicts don't need gimmicks and bling. They're strong enough without them. (And if they're not strong enough without them, you might want to look at strengthening them instead of adding a chain of exclamation marks.)
Other things that can make me doubt your readiness--
-- loads of present participial phrases
-- misplaced modifiers
-- dangling modifiers
-- errors in usage
-- too much exposition or "set-up"
-- comparing your work to Hemingway's*
-- telling me you're agented when you're not**
-- selling yourself short***
-- lack of respect for the genre****
-- lots of grammar or punctuation errors*****
-- query letters that read like bad ad campaigns******
More than all this, though, is that you can just tell when a writer is not in complete control of the narrative. Maybe there are so many vague, ten-dollar words that you lose track of the action. Or maybe the prose is so flat that the characters vanish into the page. They don't know how to focus on action and exploit conflicts, or they don't know how to write sentences that crackle with energy. There are long meanders through character histories and resumes. Characters die in chapter four, and then reappear without explanation in chapter nine. Characters change their hair color, occupation, and even gender mid-story. Characters dress in parkas and boots to go snorkeling in Jamaica.
The point is that each newbie manuscript is unique to some degree, and often manuscripts fail in unique ways. There are common faults, and these should be avoided at all costs, of course. But it takes work to control a narrative. It takes careful, deliberate thought. There's a long learning curve in fiction writing, and it can be hard to accurately assess where you are on that curve. That doesn't mean you stop trying. It means you have to understand what you're in for. There may be frustrating moments and hurt feelings and loads of self-doubt.
But there's also magic. Everything you do along the learning curve brings you closer to that magic when you suddenly understand that all story is character, and all narrative is story. When you understand that, you'll know that there is no failure in writing. There is only a learning curve and, eventually, magic.
* Don't do this. But especially don't do this if you're writing romance. Hemingway is the opposite of romance. (A shocking number of writers talk about Hemingway in their queries. Why?)
** You think we can't google this? Imaginary agents can only negotiate imaginary deals.
*** "I'm not very good at this, but I'm willing to learn more." Great. You do that, and after you've learned what you need to know, write something new to sub.
**** "I am writing the great American novel, but thought I would write romance to support myself along the way." Yeah, because it's so easy to make a living writing romance these days.
***** I'm not talking about optional usages. I know when an author has deliberately chosen to use or not use a particular comma convention. I also know when they they're just sprinkling commas like glitter because they suspect commas should go somewhere.
****** "Theresa, do you yearn to discover new talent? Crave the excitement of seeing a book climb the bestseller charts? Call today to learn more about this exciting manuscript!"
Theresa the Picky
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
DQ'd for Low Literacy
Yesterday I made the comment that we sometimes disqualify slush submissions for multiple spelling errors or egregiously bad grammar. I want to clarify that we're not talking about simple typos, which can happen to anyone. I don't ever expect to get a manuscript which is 100% typo-free. This is because I live in the real world and know how it operates. Fingers can be clumsy, and eyes can miss details.
Just to give you some idea of what I mean, here are some creative spellings I've encountered in recent memory.
queery
manuskript
manuscrip
novell
storey
storie
heero
heroe
erottic
aventure
sex seen
I could go on. You get the idea. One slip like this won't count against you. I'll just assume your fingers slipped and you missed it in the proofing stage. But imagine reading a letter something like this:
To whome it may concern:
Dear editer,
Hi my name is Susan and I'm 23 year old and I love books ever since I was a kid I've been reading allot. Please read my novell its about a heroe who goes up in a space, ship and then he crashes the planet is full of beautiful woman. One in particular. And so they don't know because woman rule this planet. But he's not like that. There are lots of great sex seens, as I'm sure you can geuss!!!!!!!
Please let me know soon k, thx.
Susann
This is not an actual query letter, but mimics problems we routinely see on the "egregious grammar" end of things. Run-on sentences, multiple spelling errors, incoherent statements, incorrect word usages, bad punctuation, text-style phonetic usages, and so on. They're not all this dreadful, of course, but maybe you begin to see what I mean about signs of low literacy levels.
And yes, I have absolutely seen people spell their own names two different ways. I hope this means they're still debating about pen name choices.
Theresa
Just to give you some idea of what I mean, here are some creative spellings I've encountered in recent memory.
queery
manuskript
manuscrip
novell
storey
storie
heero
heroe
erottic
aventure
sex seen
I could go on. You get the idea. One slip like this won't count against you. I'll just assume your fingers slipped and you missed it in the proofing stage. But imagine reading a letter something like this:
To whome it may concern:
Dear editer,
Hi my name is Susan and I'm 23 year old and I love books ever since I was a kid I've been reading allot. Please read my novell its about a heroe who goes up in a space, ship and then he crashes the planet is full of beautiful woman. One in particular. And so they don't know because woman rule this planet. But he's not like that. There are lots of great sex seens, as I'm sure you can geuss!!!!!!!
Please let me know soon k, thx.
Susann
This is not an actual query letter, but mimics problems we routinely see on the "egregious grammar" end of things. Run-on sentences, multiple spelling errors, incoherent statements, incorrect word usages, bad punctuation, text-style phonetic usages, and so on. They're not all this dreadful, of course, but maybe you begin to see what I mean about signs of low literacy levels.
And yes, I have absolutely seen people spell their own names two different ways. I hope this means they're still debating about pen name choices.
Theresa
Friday, January 30, 2009
Blogs and query letters--
Jennifer said...
New Question--In a cover letter for a short story, should a writer mention her blog, particularly if the blog is related to the story?? I am married to a man of South Asian descent and my story has a South Asian protagonist and contains many cultural references. I blog about gender issues and my experience navigating a new culture. I feel like mentioning the blog is somehow better than just saying I am married to a Pakistani American man. (My instinct is to provide some explanation for my familiarity with this culture.) But I don't know what the preference is on mentioning a blog. Any thoughts??
I'll try and answer this before carpal tunnel makes the left hand useless-- boy, it's been bad this winter.
Blogs are great ways to attract potential readers, and also to give editors a reason to ask for more of your book. So yes, mention it (probably in the last or second-to-last paragraph of your query). In fact, I think authors generally ought to have blogs-- NOT about them and their books (not reader-enticing unless you're a big name) but about some subject that connects to your book. That is, if you write Scottish historicals, a blog about Scottish castles or tartans will get far, far more potential readers than a blog about your book and what you're writing now. Once you've given something to them for free (all those pretty photos of castles), they are much more likely to give you something back by buying your book.
So yes, mention the blog in your query. Say specifically what the blog is and what you discuss, and who visits it. I would also say how many hits you get a week (or a year, whatever sounds impressive). And I'd say why those visitors are likely to buy your book, and that you'll include of course links there to your book and blog about it and the subject matter as the pub date approaches and afterwards.
Here are a couple links that help with the Chris Anderson "long tail" theory:
Seth Grodin's blog
Wikipedia explanation of Long Tail Theory
The Long Tail Blog
The latest Long Tail book
See how it works? He didn't spend a penny on advertising here. But because he's given so much away for free in his blog, I'm advertising his book for him. :)
Anyway, yes, mention your blog in the query, but also explain exactly how it will help sell your book and expose you to potential readers. Draw the picture for the agent or editor.
Alicia
New Question--In a cover letter for a short story, should a writer mention her blog, particularly if the blog is related to the story?? I am married to a man of South Asian descent and my story has a South Asian protagonist and contains many cultural references. I blog about gender issues and my experience navigating a new culture. I feel like mentioning the blog is somehow better than just saying I am married to a Pakistani American man. (My instinct is to provide some explanation for my familiarity with this culture.) But I don't know what the preference is on mentioning a blog. Any thoughts??
I'll try and answer this before carpal tunnel makes the left hand useless-- boy, it's been bad this winter.
Blogs are great ways to attract potential readers, and also to give editors a reason to ask for more of your book. So yes, mention it (probably in the last or second-to-last paragraph of your query). In fact, I think authors generally ought to have blogs-- NOT about them and their books (not reader-enticing unless you're a big name) but about some subject that connects to your book. That is, if you write Scottish historicals, a blog about Scottish castles or tartans will get far, far more potential readers than a blog about your book and what you're writing now. Once you've given something to them for free (all those pretty photos of castles), they are much more likely to give you something back by buying your book.
So yes, mention the blog in your query. Say specifically what the blog is and what you discuss, and who visits it. I would also say how many hits you get a week (or a year, whatever sounds impressive). And I'd say why those visitors are likely to buy your book, and that you'll include of course links there to your book and blog about it and the subject matter as the pub date approaches and afterwards.
Here are a couple links that help with the Chris Anderson "long tail" theory:
Seth Grodin's blog
Wikipedia explanation of Long Tail Theory
The Long Tail Blog
The latest Long Tail book
See how it works? He didn't spend a penny on advertising here. But because he's given so much away for free in his blog, I'm advertising his book for him. :)
Anyway, yes, mention your blog in the query, but also explain exactly how it will help sell your book and expose you to potential readers. Draw the picture for the agent or editor.
Alicia
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
What not to say in a query
one submission with a query letter detailing how long the writer has dreamed of being published and all the mean people who told her she would never succeed
LOL, Theresa. I remember a friend of mine was sending out employment requests, and he read me his cover page, and it was excruciating, all about how so many bad things had happened to him recently and he didn't think he could take another rejection, so please hire him.
I just cringed. No surprise-- he didn't even get an interview request.
Personnel directors and editors are not therapists. And they aren't likely to be swayed (much) by a sob story. Professionalism will go much further. :)
Alicia
LOL, Theresa. I remember a friend of mine was sending out employment requests, and he read me his cover page, and it was excruciating, all about how so many bad things had happened to him recently and he didn't think he could take another rejection, so please hire him.
I just cringed. No surprise-- he didn't even get an interview request.
Personnel directors and editors are not therapists. And they aren't likely to be swayed (much) by a sob story. Professionalism will go much further. :)
Alicia
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