tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post822436515414295343..comments2023-09-05T12:51:25.656-05:00Comments on edittorrent: Your Embellished SentencesEdittorrenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14295505709568570553noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-25190229390492449632010-02-08T19:18:23.430-06:002010-02-08T19:18:23.430-06:00Im not getting the time I need to read my blogs, b...Im not getting the time I need to read my blogs, but I'm trying. Still, I think this post may need a re-read by me.<br /><br />I think, again, that I'm the wrong person to ask this. Any time my husband helps edit my books, he says I don't use enough descriptive words. So I may need to look at this from a different point of view :D<br /><br />I agree with everything I understood, however, sometimes I think people are too general and emphasize the wrong thing because they are too lazy to look at a better way. "the green eyed wizard" was a good example.Leonahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11786326364037397675noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-79288738212613676292010-02-06T19:50:33.980-06:002010-02-06T19:50:33.980-06:00The amount of description I'd include would de...The amount of description I'd include would depend on how important the character is, and what the reader needs to know for the scene to make sense. <br /><br />So, I might say "the younger waiter" to imply two waiters, or "elderly trapper" to imply frailty in a formerly strong man. I'm not fond of generic nouns if I can find a specific one, but I'd only add an adjective if 1) I plan to use the character for more than one scene, or to avoid confusion.<br /><br />I have a suspicion I just restated part of your post. :-}Deb Salisbury, Magic Seeker and Mantua-Makerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01513482264195697450noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-84941822276743349172010-02-06T15:25:20.687-06:002010-02-06T15:25:20.687-06:00If the social role matters to the plot or to how t...If the social role matters to the plot or to how the character appears or behaves, I think it should be brought in as early as possible. The social role may or may not be enough to establish the character in the reader's mind's eye, though, in which case that adjective can be very helpful. If the social role is irrelevant, it may be better to skip it as being too distracting--unless it's being used to obscure a clue, of course.<br /><br />I guess I'd ask questions like:<br />'How important is this character?'<br />'What is his role in this paragraph? Scene? Story?'<br />'How vividly do I need to describe him for the effect I want?'<br /><br />Once I know all that, then I can pick my words. They might even work. ;-)Dave Shawhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00773380114295267509noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-75485441686839161822010-02-06T14:25:09.688-06:002010-02-06T14:25:09.688-06:00That's exactly why I said that we have to assu...That's exactly why I said that we have to assume a proper noun is not an option. This kind of writing can get very twee very quickly. But it does have a purpose, too, and this is what I'm trying to get at with my question. :)<br /><br />TheresaEdittorrenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14295505709568570553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-13632849536332058262010-02-06T14:18:00.896-06:002010-02-06T14:18:00.896-06:00I have to be honest, I absolutely LOATHE "the...I have to be honest, I absolutely LOATHE "the young man" "the green eyed man" etc etc - epithets in general are poison. I think it's probably because, in fandom, they were so rife it was not funny. There'd be a sex scene between Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter (for example) and the scene would be entirely made up of "the green eyed wizard" "the blond youth" "the blond wizard" "the dark haired man" etc etc and never once mentioning their NAMES. Stick to the names once you know them, or "him" or "he" if it's not confusing - don't think you are being clear by using epithets because you aren't. I thoroughly agree that before you know that person's name - e.g. "The elderly woodcutter wiped his brow and said, " my name is..." but after that. NO NO NO. don't do it.Erasteshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02203293017233301227noreply@blogger.com