tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post8121242601247761567..comments2023-09-05T12:51:25.656-05:00Comments on edittorrent: Action sentencingEdittorrenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14295505709568570553noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-41168458308110156732012-09-15T00:04:29.536-05:002012-09-15T00:04:29.536-05:00Ian, okay. We could end with, "She'd just...Ian, okay. We could end with, "She'd just finished paying the electric bill when the aliens landed!"<br /><br />Laura, yes-- purpose... it's not really to narrate this action but to hint at a clue, or to bury a clue, or to show something about the character.<br /><br />GK, yeah-- the "punchline" (Meredith) should be the punchiest thing in the passage, and a contrast to the mundane. Hmm.<br />AliciaAlicianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-32006578391239960212012-09-12T09:16:46.719-05:002012-09-12T09:16:46.719-05:00This is excellent advice, and exceedingly useful. ...This is excellent advice, and exceedingly useful. <br /><br /><i>sentencing should replicate in its imperfect way the way the action takes place</i><br /><br />This sounds like something that would niggle at a reader without ever jumping out to most of them - and I can see this being a good guideline for when a passage isn't working. (And by extention: spending a lot of time on very brief & unimportant actions, and not spending time on important ones.)<br /><br />I also love the layering nature of things here - using action to provide a framework for some internalisatoin (because characters standing there and thinking are dull, however earthmoving their decisions) and I particularly like the second example where you use the dull everyday actions of washing mugs and packing briefcases to lead into the turning point. _Meredith is there? Oh, shit._ <br />'When he stepped outside the building, Meredith was waiting for him' could work as well, but I feel that the contrast heightens the impact.green_knighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16499896006012152260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-16982171821845243372012-09-12T07:39:06.298-05:002012-09-12T07:39:06.298-05:00I love being able to turn a small transitional act...I love being able to turn a small transitional action scene into a reflection of the larger plot. It doesn't always work out, but when it does, the reader gets a little clue as to the main plot, or a hint into the character's mindset or personality.<br /><br />The reader might not remember the inconsequential background action, but hopefully the more important elements (the decisions, the observations, etc.)will carry through to the larger plot. It's a meta-moment! :)Laura Hughes, MittensMorgulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00934132671168843593noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-58378580324240524402012-09-12T00:01:27.706-05:002012-09-12T00:01:27.706-05:00"I just read this amazingly gripping bill-pay..."I just read this amazingly gripping bill-paying scene!" said nobody ever. :PIanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14497045412007902460noreply@blogger.com