tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post793034665627879215..comments2023-09-05T12:51:25.656-05:00Comments on edittorrent: More PPPEdittorrenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14295505709568570553noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-3248336920276909262009-08-23T07:51:25.763-05:002009-08-23T07:51:25.763-05:00Look what happens when I take a Saturday night off...Look what happens when I take a Saturday night off! Thanks for using my sentence and to all who commented. <br /><br />To set up, it’s not fantasy, but it does have paranormal elements. The threshold is to an historic library, where her grandmother left a journal sixty years ago. She’s not entering a different time period, but she’ll run into a few ghosts inside.<br /><br />I’ve been so conscious of the dreaded “ing.” Clearly here the progressive accurately describes her action. Also, I try to tighten so much, that sometimes my sentences should be expanded. I’ll be aware of that on my next round. Yes, I do see the dangling participle! How did I miss that? It’s good to know my character can feel. I tend to edit those out as well.<br /><br />“Crossed” reflects her action. To me, "breach" connotes entering somewhere off-limits. I like changing “one in which” to “where” and also Deb’s suggestion of splitting the sentence because she did feel something as she crossed the threshold. I tried to accomplish that with “maneuver” but it didn’t work. Now, is “powerful force” cliché?<br /><br />A grammar geek once told me “as though” might be used when the action is possible, but not true in this instance, and “as if” when the action is impossible or not likely. Or is it the other way around? I tend to use “as though” because I like the sound of it. “As if” reminds me of an overused ’80s phrase.<br /><br />Thanks again for the help!Joan Morahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03152990243138876941noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-89550338088032902152009-08-22T20:09:31.804-05:002009-08-22T20:09:31.804-05:00I think "as though" sounds more formal t...I think "as though" sounds more formal than "as if" - purely a personal call. I do agree with Jami that "as if" sounds more speculative.<br /><br />I often decide which to use out of fear of repetition: If I used "if" earlier in the paragraph, I'll write "as though." :-)Deb Salisbury, Magic Seeker and Mantua-Makerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01513482264195697450noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-25450441991704799832009-08-22T18:44:01.742-05:002009-08-22T18:44:01.742-05:00To me, "as if" sounds more...well, iffy,...To me, "as if" sounds more...well, iffy, than "as though". I'd use "as if" for guesses and "as though" for assumptions, if that makes sense.<br /><br />Jami G.Jami Goldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00957122956518765455noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-4511830578543058152009-08-22T17:43:29.383-05:002009-08-22T17:43:29.383-05:00I use feel all the time, Deb. People do feel, and ...I use feel all the time, Deb. People do feel, and they think, and I know they can be overused, but they can be underused too. :)<br /><br />When would you use "as if" and when "as though?" As I say them out loud, I get a sense that the meaning is slightly different, but I can't put my finger on it.<br /><br />AliciaEdittorrenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14295505709568570553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-75535392947079488212009-08-22T17:39:51.347-05:002009-08-22T17:39:51.347-05:00I agree with Alicia - the sentence feels too long....I agree with Alicia - the sentence <b>feels</b> too long. I'd cut it up along these lines:<br /><br />As[when?] she crossed the threshold, a powerful force struck Julianne. She felt as though[if?] she were entering a different time, one in which her grandmother’s indelible spirit lived on.<br /><br />I know "feel" is one of the forbidden words, but unless she <b>really</b> is entering a different time (since I read a lot of fantasy, that would be my assumption), a sensation word may be the most accurate representation.Deb Salisbury, Magic Seeker and Mantua-Makerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01513482264195697450noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-29149675102421270332009-08-22T17:04:41.649-05:002009-08-22T17:04:41.649-05:00How should I know which ones which. I'd just ...How should I know which ones which. I'd just as soon leave that up to my editor to figure out. :D I'm kidding! I always think of it's not spelled with the double E because that one is for the double B breech birth.;)<br />MurphyRiley Murphyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15817930302085699222noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-33194800795012460072009-08-22T17:00:03.146-05:002009-08-22T17:00:03.146-05:00Okay, but you know, that word always makes me go t...Okay, but you know, that word always makes me go to my Fowler's British Usage (there's an American addition) because I can never remember:<br />Breached? Breeched? Broached?<br /><br />They're actually all sort of similar in meaning, or can be. <br /><br />But you're right, right? Breached?<br />AliciaEdittorrenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14295505709568570553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-80746341253326427902009-08-22T16:57:53.244-05:002009-08-22T16:57:53.244-05:00Hey, how about breached the threshold?Hey, how about <i>breached</i> the threshold?Riley Murphyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15817930302085699222noreply@blogger.com