tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post7547076993042956156..comments2023-09-05T12:51:25.656-05:00Comments on edittorrent: Another Setting ExampleEdittorrenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14295505709568570553noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-90145537767275282722011-06-25T07:46:17.086-05:002011-06-25T07:46:17.086-05:00I've had to let this sink in a bit because I a...I've had to let this sink in a bit because I am still struggling with it - this scene is not too dissimilar to what I was trying to achieve in mine, so I've found it very useful. <br /><br />I'm not fond of the Thwap, thwap, and I found 'he pushed his legs faster' somewhat irritating because I am too literal at times and it threw me a bit. <br /><br />On the whole I think it works, because there's _motivation_ right there, and a scene question: Lucas obviously has the goal to get home on time *and* with his dog - and the dog is a bout to disrupt that goal, so we're wondering what he'll do and how much trouble he'll be in when he gets home.green_knighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16499896006012152260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-63648294480885954002011-06-15T18:14:23.849-05:002011-06-15T18:14:23.849-05:00Thanks for critiquing my submission today! The nov...Thanks for critiquing my submission today! The novel is actually mainstream fiction, but the first chapter is in the POV of a nine-year-old boy.<br /><br />I appreciate the edits!Melissa Alexanderhttp://www.melissa-c-alexander.comnoreply@blogger.com