tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post4580280922607303310..comments2023-09-05T12:51:25.656-05:00Comments on edittorrent: Setting By Example: LondonEdittorrenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14295505709568570553noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-79835085364693800112011-02-06T11:10:35.434-06:002011-02-06T11:10:35.434-06:00We get Will's initial reaction to the setting ...We get Will's initial reaction to the setting and the change that has taken place: "...he stopped, unable to comprehend what he was seeing...."Weshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03077791761104576436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-67288973636782769222011-02-05T15:06:20.750-06:002011-02-05T15:06:20.750-06:00I don't want to see the walls and the furnitur...I don't want to see the walls and the furniture, but I want to get a sense of the room. Being kinesthetic, I'm happy with fairly sketchy descriptions, but I have strongly visual friends who like more grounding. Not in a stop-and-infodump, but like here: woven into the character's actions.<br /><br />What strikes me about this is that it's a dynamic scene: the protag engages with the surroundings. The second is that it raises a question: what happened here? Who was responsible for stripping the place (none of the careful putting sheets over the furniture and rolling up the carpets you'd associate with owner absence), and more immediately, *what are the papers about*? So this paragraph both leads into the next- if he doesn't pick up the papers I'll put down the book - and gives us a reason to read on. <br /><br />I'm coming to realise that story questions - however trivial they might seem - are what keeps me reading. I'm not so much interested in 'what happens' (though that can be fascinating, too) as I am in 'what happened here?' and 'what kind of person would be in this situation'.<br /><br />(Argh, my delete key just broke. Not great.)green_knighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16499896006012152260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-23803266615759612512011-02-05T14:01:58.559-06:002011-02-05T14:01:58.559-06:00Quick observations: It hints at past change, myste...Quick observations: It hints at past change, mystery and serious conflict.<br /><br />Also, there are a number of passive constructions (and past progressive) that work.Jordanhttp://JordanMcCollum.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-37153647358376645402011-02-05T12:47:31.263-06:002011-02-05T12:47:31.263-06:00There is a problem. We see that there's someth...There is a problem. We see that there's something wrong. As if the last person left suddenly. So suddenly they didn't "put out the lights" and knocked over their chair. And the reader has to wonder what caused them to leave so quickly, were they kidnapped, and how it's related to the man walking through the foyer now.<br /><br />Very well done!!Leonahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11786326364037397675noreply@blogger.com