tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post419603079691836683..comments2023-09-05T12:51:25.656-05:00Comments on edittorrent: The Words Not Spoken, The Steps Not TakenEdittorrenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14295505709568570553noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-33190974954628180602011-07-27T21:01:18.957-05:002011-07-27T21:01:18.957-05:00My editor would have called attention to all the &...My editor would have called attention to all the "rounds" and "arounds" in that first passage:<br /><br />The congregation was mainly freshly scrubbed and intense-looking children, who were clipped around the ear by teachers if they made any untoward noise. I looked around to see who would take charge of the next round,Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-3585825871052889502009-09-11T13:58:53.362-05:002009-09-11T13:58:53.362-05:00Adrian, I bet you didn't go to parochial schoo...Adrian, I bet you didn't go to parochial school. :) The nuns were always clipping our ears at St. Aidan's! Whenever my mother waxes nostalgic for the discipline of the Catholic schools, I tell her all the sisters would now be arrested for child abuse. (G)<br /><br />AliciaEdittorrenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14295505709568570553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-18789706803195863602009-09-11T13:38:29.704-05:002009-09-11T13:38:29.704-05:00Clipping their ears is an old fashioned term. Have...Clipping their ears is an old fashioned term. Have you ever heard the term "box your ears"? It runs along those lines. We don't do it much in the US as it's outmoded. <br /><br />exovalLeonahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11786326364037397675noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-6903537831924478982009-09-11T13:05:09.947-05:002009-09-11T13:05:09.947-05:00What is "clipping their ears"? I can...What is "clipping their ears"? I can't find a definition that fits on several online dictionaries I checked. That through me out of the passage.Adriannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-89228000216377660362009-09-10T21:01:55.940-05:002009-09-10T21:01:55.940-05:00John, I bet if you read the whole passage you woul...John, I bet if you read the whole passage you would "feel" it, even if you couldn't put it into words-- the sadness, the loneliness, the strangeness of it. <br /><br />I do think that there's a level some writers get to because they so utterly inhabit the world and the character-- that's a level above most fiction. And most fiction is perfectly serviceable, the narration getting the job done of telling the events and revealing the character. But DEEPENING the character-- well, that might take that special ability. <br /><br />I'm not sure that it makes a book more sellable (in fact, it probably gets in the way of an easy sale), but I think it's wonderful to point out when some writer has ascended to a new level. This might be the only recognition of the exceptional achievement. :) <br /><br />But Theresa is, I know from experience, an amazingly sensitive reader, and Extremely Good Writers like Pears deserve a reader like Theresa, who can see the special little touch of genius!<br />AliciaEdittorrenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14295505709568570553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-64849252332391286262009-09-10T20:50:06.590-05:002009-09-10T20:50:06.590-05:00I like the rhythm. In the first example - The pri...I like the rhythm. In the first example - The priests, the choir, the prayers. Reading this small bit - I noticed a number of things. First there were priests (not just a priest) and too the narrator was comfortable with the casual clipping around the ears - so I immediately concluded that the woman who was dead was someone closely affiliated with a religious orphanage where the narrator either grew up, or these were things he expected to find as he attended her funeral - the children/their treatment/and the dead woman seem to be connected more intimately to the narrator because of the casual acceptance of the corporal punishment. Probably a foreshadowing of the woman's life - *shrug* maybe tragic? (could be totally wrong because I haven't read this - just my .02) <br /><br />For the rhythm? Later in the other example: Perhaps his desperation frightened them; perhaps the fact that his father was a sculptor (hence his unfortunate middle name) of retrograde opinions and unpleasant temper put them off; perhaps they felt that youth has to fight on its own. Now he is more successful, Brock gives little encouragement to others, either.<br />I find this very informative - almost too informative. I did have the benefit of reading your comments where you said this was a mystery - so I figure that the narrator is reporting facts - he's not investigating them, per se, because I think he's already done that as he seems comfortable drawing conclusions and furnishing plausible reasons for what he already knew to be true - with all those perhaps’.<br />MurphyRiley Murphyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15817930302085699222noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-64304415935101801262009-09-10T19:08:44.384-05:002009-09-10T19:08:44.384-05:00This post scares me for many reasons:
1) I didn&#...This post scares me for many reasons:<br /><br />1) I didn't really get what was missing<br />2) I didn't understand why that was important.<br /><br />The second 'lame, but correct' version felt just as good to me. I couldn't see the point of the 'good, but veiled' version. In fact as a reader in reading that I'll miss such things. Then what is the point in putting them in?<br /><br />So it this something I should strive for in my own writing? by your words i'm clearly an ordinary writer. I'm not sure if I can improve my writing to this level if I can't even see it as a reader. Thats the scary bit.Johnnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-83791112823806306322009-09-10T16:33:57.644-05:002009-09-10T16:33:57.644-05:001. I guess I'm an inattentive reader, because...1. I guess I'm an inattentive reader, because I missed it.<br /><br />2. If I <i>could</i> write like that--carefully dancing around what's not there--I'd imagine my readers saying things like "that's not realistic; where's her family?"<br /><br />3. My favorite part of the first sample was "undertaker took over". I laughed out loud.<br /><br />4. I've read the Ann Hood book, and, honestly, I got nothing out of it.Adriannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-56284982581030149772009-09-10T16:05:44.881-05:002009-09-10T16:05:44.881-05:00Thanks Teresa, I'll add that book to my list t...Thanks Teresa, I'll add that book to my list to check out.<br /><br />Yes, I was giving a simplistic example, but the real question is how do you know when you're on that perfect point between confusing and spoon-feeding? Not just about character emotions/reactions, but about theme and other things that are supposed to be less spelled out? I know, that's an impossible question to answer. :) But I just struggle with this issue so much...<br /><br />Jami G.Jami Goldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00957122956518765455noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-15245649211778186402009-09-10T15:26:15.831-05:002009-09-10T15:26:15.831-05:00Jami, there's a book called "Creating Cha...Jami, there's a book called "Creating Character Emotion" that might be worth a few hours of your reading time. The author is Ann Hood. She examines the ways different authors have portrayed different emotions using relevant, unique detail.<br /><br />In the example you cite -- narrowed eyes -- the detail probably is neither unique enough nor relevant to the emotion you're trying to convey. It's familiar shorthand for many readers, but it might not be enough to engage their emotions. Either replace it with something more character-specific, or back it up with additional layers of action and description. <br /><br />I hope that helps.<br /><br />Wes, it might properly be categorized as a literary mystery. It was shelved with the genre mysteries in my Borders. Not with the genfic/lit stuff.<br /><br />TheresaEdittorrenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14295505709568570553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-76786897120475390442009-09-10T15:05:08.985-05:002009-09-10T15:05:08.985-05:00This is an incredibily insightful post. I'm g...This is an incredibily insightful post. I'm going to recommend it to my blog readers. Thank you.Livia Blackburnehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15805379309049803903noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-52811287781698140012009-09-10T14:57:29.236-05:002009-09-10T14:57:29.236-05:00Teresa,
Thank you for this post. My question is ...Teresa,<br /><br />Thank you for this post. My question is - how can a writer tell when they've put the "right amount" of information in? Since I know the whole story, it's hard for me to know if I'm including enough information for the reader to draw conclusions. I <i>want</i> my story to have to make the reader think things through and not just spoon-feed it to them, but how do you find that happy medium?<br /><br />I feel like I've been going back and forth on a teeter-totter with this issue in my WIP. Take for, example, facial expressions. In real life, you can't know why someone makes the facial expressions that they do, so I often try not to include an explanation. I'll state that the POV character notices someone's eyes narrowing, but I don't say "in anger" or "in confusion", etc. But feedback readers have told me to add more to that to explain why the other character is doing something. To me, that seems out-of-POV and spells things out too much. Is my approach right, wrong, or just confusing? :)<br /><br />I know you're going to tell me that to have that deft balance of revealing/concealing, it takes a skill or talent or experience or something that I just don't have yet, but any pointers would be helpful. :)<br /><br />Jami G.Jami Goldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00957122956518765455noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-83269731192941909342009-09-10T14:36:46.766-05:002009-09-10T14:36:46.766-05:00The passages seem more like literary fiction than ...The passages seem more like literary fiction than mystery.Weshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03077791761104576436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-64367729383995513672009-09-10T14:35:07.704-05:002009-09-10T14:35:07.704-05:00"....but said nothing about her character......."....but said nothing about her character....." The line is very powerful. It raises many plausible reasons: she outlived people who knew her character, possibly her character was not laudable and her charity work was compensation, etc. The technique is very effective. It shows a writer going the extra mile, possibly the extra five miles. It seems like hard work. I'm mentally going thru my MS looking for places to use it.Weshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03077791761104576436noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-37642182463952700442009-09-10T14:20:47.476-05:002009-09-10T14:20:47.476-05:00As usual, this is an incredible post. In fact, I h...As usual, this is an incredible post. In fact, I had a question I wanted to post. It has been entirely forgotten in the wake of your blog. I feel struck dumb by a magnificent bolt of lightening.<br /><br />Hopefully I'll remember it later. :)Leonahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11786326364037397675noreply@blogger.com