tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post137475760509762968..comments2023-09-05T12:51:25.656-05:00Comments on edittorrent: Settings - Your Example #2Edittorrenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14295505709568570553noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-78357169070760738292011-02-20T13:55:41.678-06:002011-02-20T13:55:41.678-06:00This example shows a very good command of the craf...This example shows a very good command of the craft of writing IMHO.<br />There's a lot of conflict here - the character wants something from the environment - and he is thwarted, not just once, but three times. The first time - the dialogue - just happens, but after that, he reads the menu (nothing suitable) and sniffs the air (foiled by flowers and apple pie).green_knighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16499896006012152260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-42765877302844586532011-02-20T10:21:13.429-06:002011-02-20T10:21:13.429-06:00Very helpful post. I like the way you highlight th...Very helpful post. I like the way you highlight the setting points and show how they fit with the action.Ellis Vidlerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11918353154644739285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-23819312406608062422011-02-20T10:00:13.722-06:002011-02-20T10:00:13.722-06:00Cleverly done, I can see the appeal. I did wonder,...Cleverly done, I can see the appeal. I did wonder, being an annoying writer, how he knew none of the other customers had ordered them *G*.<br /><br />Definitely good use of the setting to show the mood.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-61855698415552680022011-02-19T17:06:33.541-06:002011-02-19T17:06:33.541-06:00This is a wonderful example of integrating the det...This is a wonderful example of integrating the details/description organically into the story. It is so easy to get lazy and provide the little info dumps of detail that have only one use - description. When done right it can establish the tone of the scene, increase tension, reveal character, and so much more. <br /><br />Just this morning I was reminded of that when I went to my WIP and looked over the first para of the scene I'd been working on yesterday. My MC was nervous on the day of her wedding and had taken an early morning walk to calm her anxiety. First draft I described the sun breaking on the horizon, and the fog, simply as description of her surroundings. Thanks to this example, I realized I could do more, and so I revised to describe the coming dawn as unwelcome since it removed her cover of darkness, and I described the fog as a blanket she wanted to crawl under and hide in. So it worked better to set the tone and my character's mood. Much more organic. So thank you for this! I need to remember this more consistently.Annettenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-12982228341817542022011-02-19T16:27:21.321-06:002011-02-19T16:27:21.321-06:00Nicely done! Jody, your stuff is always so dang f...Nicely done! Jody, your stuff is always so dang full of fabulous detail without being a laundry list. Something I, too, need to emulate : )Cathy in AKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08667978358875270260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-23230797880762327292011-02-19T15:01:25.437-06:002011-02-19T15:01:25.437-06:00@writer and Cat Oh no. As usual, Theresa is spot o...@writer and Cat Oh no. As usual, Theresa is spot on. It's something I aim to emulate :D I sent my two cents in, so we shall see how far she gets before the red highlighter starts. *sigh*<br /><br />Love how the details enforce his frustration. Even the mention of the "frilly" menu reinforces his frustration.Leonahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11786326364037397675noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-44838961404094385692011-02-19T14:40:04.475-06:002011-02-19T14:40:04.475-06:00My observation is that you've made me sound a ...My observation is that you've made me sound a lot more deliberately clever than I am...but thanks for that :)<br /><br />Jody W.Jody W. and Meankittyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13733607365443126784noreply@blogger.com