tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post805854922764995514..comments2023-09-05T12:51:25.656-05:00Comments on edittorrent: Your Setting Example #12Edittorrenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14295505709568570553noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-39769531542381386952011-04-16T14:24:57.012-05:002011-04-16T14:24:57.012-05:00I think this is inspired. Framing the description ...I think this is inspired. Framing the description with a related action - he looks around, this is what he sees, everything is fine - is very simple and exceedingly effective.green_knighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16499896006012152260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-86526897843790283252011-04-13T13:24:18.463-05:002011-04-13T13:24:18.463-05:00Imparting a sense of purpose to the prose -- it do...Imparting a sense of purpose to the prose -- it doesn't always have to be a big deal. Small details can get it there, too, sometimes. :)<br /><br />TEdittorrenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14295505709568570553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-19241855732064504692011-04-12T10:47:27.710-05:002011-04-12T10:47:27.710-05:00As I was reading and then hit the descriptive bloc...As I was reading and then hit the descriptive block, I immediately skimmed it looking for WHY his guard came up. I didn't want to be interrupted by the description chunk. The amended version improved that a lot. Then the setting became relevant and more about mood than just a "here's what his house looks like." In a way it feels like it heightens the tension rather than deflates it.<br /><br />JTJulie Harringtonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02880895598847092028noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6824896765631412903.post-66410118923130665002011-04-12T09:02:22.619-05:002011-04-12T09:02:22.619-05:00Wow Theresa, I love these examples. Your additions...Wow Theresa, I love these examples. Your additions do make a big difference. I am still stuck on how much of a difference it made in your other example, just adding "two blocks."<br /><br />Awesome post! Thanks!Rachel Harrishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02711443001167188505noreply@blogger.com